Tasmanian Times

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. No price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. No price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche


Far Right snakes and ladders

Satire of Tony Abbott, Flickr

Most citizens appear quite happy in the contented middle. So how does a respectable citizen make his or her way into the twilight zone of the far right? Using that useful kids’ games, snakes and ladders we can illustrate descendancy into this narrow field of political spite.

So let’s unfold the old cardboard game, grab the dice and using a series of useful questions start the play. The first question is gender. The blokes move happily a few paces up the ladder. Girls, sorry your points are fewer and the dice tells you to stay lower on the first ladder.

Next question relates to origin and asks for your name. If you are male and named Smith, Joyce, Brown or Abbott, your dice roll sweeps you up the next ladder. Ladies your dice roll still leaves you lingering but a few names, like Downer, do appear to break this rule. Possible there are others, so don’t despair!

Blokes if your name suggests an Aboriginal background or is Mahomad, or anything vaguely Middle Eastern, well, this is the end of your game. Pack up now.

Physical appearance does have some input here, so blokes and women next question means you have to be very upfront and honest about yourself.

So men, do you consider yourself handsome and urbane. Well a yes means a you fall paces down the snake. Far right is not a place for you. Women, the same applies. Good looking galls are not found on the far right. Just remember the on-off success of Pauline Hanson. Michaela Cash is another good example. Recall their daggy hairdos, nasal ranty voices, and way too colourful clothing. So if you can’t endure bad taste, you are sliding way down the snake’s tail and best find your politics elsewhere.

At this point blokes are well ahead of women on the Far Right achievement board. Perhaps it might be time to look at “belief” criteria. So let’s pull out these belief question cards and roll the dice.

In the Far Right adherence to a religion other than various christian churches appears pretty much no go and a token linking to some christian cult is fairly de regueur.

First are you believer, do go to church? Here both blokes and women still playing on the board climb up a few rungs on the ladder. Next question, is your belief system. You may slide a bit if you announce a strict devotion to any christian sect, possibility of a conflict of interest. Adherence to another cause … well suspicious!

Blokes are still ahead. The contra belief question appears on the next card. Do you believe climate change is real? So at this point the blokes only score a little as they can simply shout climate change is crap much louder. If the answer is “yes” sliding down the snake’s tail is inevitable and you are off the board, quick as a flash.

Next card relates to the oppression of white folk and goes a bit like this, Is it OK to be white? Now the dice crashes around the board, everyone shouting “yes yes” for a resulting high score. But then the next question, “why”. Answers rumble around, “because we started civilization a few centuries ago, we conquered the world a few centuries ago”. Ok everyone seems to have climbed the ladder profoundly here. But one woman suggests a flow of civilization from the East millenniums ago, and is repudiated immediately and scuttles down the snake’s tail and is shouted out the door.

Next question fixes on those lesser folk who might want to share the bounty of white western civilization. Dice rolls, everyone answers, no no, we need to keep them out. Heads nodding about quality of life, over population, strange religion and so on.

Ranks are thinning and the final cards move dense citizens towards the fearful arena of the alt right. Here are the last cards:

Is coal essential for the future?
Would you like to wear a snappy uniform, gold buttons, braid?
Would you like to do some arms training?
Have a gun license?
Do some military training?
With a couple of mates, threaten a Muslim or a Jew?
Do you think it is time to take charge of our country, get rid of the politicians?

Regrettably there may still be a few people in the room, at the game, satisfied with their performance.

Josephine Zananiri lives in the Independent electorate of Indi and currently works in the manual labour arena tending native and exotic trees, so has plenty of time to think. Followed everywhere by her two dogs Percy and Fino who generally agree on all subjects, only occasionally deserting the conversation in the chase for samba deer! Slight differences in logic can therefore be attributed to the two woofers leaving their critical post!

Author Credits: [show_post_categories parent="no" parentcategory="writers" show = "category" hyperlink="yes"]


  1. Chris

    October 30, 2018 at 3:47 pm

    You could praise an eye for an eye and Trumpet loudly the support for the victims of a MAD gun policy, but ignore the Middle East thousands who die day after day where they long for their rights?

  2. Geoff Holloway

    October 30, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    Very clever! Brilliant!

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