Tasmanian Times

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. No price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. No price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche


The Right Connections …

Dear Editor of Tasmanian Times

Those voting on 2nd July should remember that they are being approached by many of the great unwashed in search of a very highly paid job in which standing for election requires no qualifications, no training, no expertise in any field and no brains – but all importantly, the right connections.

To be elected requires the ability to lie with a straight face, to never answer a question, to nod one’s head when the camera is rolling, to keep one’s mug with your name on it permanently in the public eye, and to receive lots of lovely lolly from unexplained or unknown sources preferably delivered in brown paper bags.

With all this in mind Scruffy visited the Australian Electoral Office in Launceston with her master on the 22 February 2016 to meet a very sceptical Mr Eklom, the Divisional Office Manager for Bass, who kindly sent us the required documentation. He carefully explained to Scruffy the qualifications required for this a most important job, a job that pays more than $5000 a week.

Scruffy had to be:

* Eighteen years or older;
* An Australian citizen;
* An elector who was entitled to vote.

… and able to submit a nomination form stating:

* Her full name, place of residence, occupation and contact number;
* Signed by 100 Bass electors;
* A declaration that she was –

• Legally qualified to be elected;
• Had not nominated for another election on the same day;
• Was prepared to act if elected.

Scruffy was much relieved that she did not have to be able to read or write and that she could sign with her right paw. I said that her left paw may be more applicable.

The system however defeated us.

Scruffy had previously nominated for a far more important election to be held on the same day – the election for Chudleigh’s most important dog.

So despite support from all over the world Scruffy has been forced to withdraw her nomination for the Australian Senate and all that lovely fillet steak for life.

Uncle Erich’s dog, a pug, has informed Scruffy (whom he secretly admires and supports although he dare not breathe her name) that his master is much relieved.

I told Scruffy not to let this turn her head.


*John Hawkins is a Sandhurst-trained former British army officer he has now lived in Australia for almost fifty years … of which the past 14 years have been spent enhancing the landscape at Bentley in the Chudleigh Valley, Tasmania. He is well known for his two volume standard reference on Australian Silver and his knowledge of the Life and Times of Erich Abetz.

Author Credits: [show_post_categories parent="no" parentcategory="writers" show = "category" hyperlink="yes"]


  1. William Boeder

    June 19, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    #5. TGC it is not unusual that your comments are twisted into antagonistic Andrew Wilkie disparagements, as that seems to be your speciality field.
    Andrew Wilkie secured the hospital funding as he had negotiated and achieved, then when the money arrives Tas Inc and the other remora like creatures that attach themselves to this State’s revenues (especially grants special funding etc all get thrown into the State revenue grab bag.)
    Soon a media release comes zipping out from the huddle of no account ministers announcing how their budget strategies are performing so extraordinarily well.

    Enter Michael Aird when State Treasurer, any cash holdings in long term accrual accounts were soon preyed upon stacked up and removed and an IOU substituted, very soon thereafter another bogus media release about how well Tasmania is performing under his skilled planning and fund allocating strategies.

    TO add to the insult this same IOU proffering individual is then recommended for some sort of government reward in the form of an Australian Gong, same as Lennon, then soon thereafter a full page of bullshizer from the muzzled media claiming how great art thy ‘sinisterminister’ for not getting sprung.
    One must not forget the fact that all of these elitist ego ticklers if not related or not personal crony’s that they all gather at the same boozing booths.
    One must never forget the realization that there is no real accountability in this State for any government failures, financial blunders, budget blowouts, reallocations of specified funds etc.

    I Recall how the Federal funding for specific Forestry projects and agreements, this money either gets pissed up the wall or begins to be drawn down for day to day operations.
    So now Trevor, you might as well claim that this is all the fault of the Greens and Conservation minded individuals.

  2. Kim Peart

    June 19, 2016 at 7:41 am

    As this country is going to the dogs as if there were a fox to chase, why shouldn’t honourable canine citizens be permitted to stand in the poll to serve this nation?

    Whenever dogs would have a bone to pick with anyone in the House, they would dig them up and bring them to the sitting, to know away, with an eye on the proceedings.

    Admittedly, some dogs are smarter than others, but all canines can enter parliament on an equal footing, or paw, with the revolutionary development of smart exo-skeletons with an AI interpreter kit.

    With this hands-on, or paws on, enhanced reality system, dogs will be able to sign any form, with the AI kit interpreting the hounds intentions and signing just fine, with an extension arm and hand protruding from the dogs smart eco-skeleton.

    The public will be mesmerized to watch Parliament on TV and over the howls and barks (much the same as it is now), hear each dogs thoughts be put into good english.

    Dogs may wish to use fowl talk at times, but the AI will save the strong-minded hound from such disgrace, that would see a dog member sent to the dog house.

    Inform scruffy there is hope, if only master will make a downpayment on the latest eco-skeleton for dogs, with a smart AI kit, and extension arm.

    The downside of this trend to animal justice, will be a push from the enemy for equal time and equality of opportunity.

    Yes, you guessed it.

    Cats will want the floor, to pursue feline matters, like fish issues and sleeping rights (cats would definitely draft legislation for the right to a cat nap in the House).

    As some cats can nearly talk now, they may not need the same level of AI assistance.

    But pianos?

    Well, piano playing cats in Parliament would sure add to the entertainment.

    And if the dogs howled at that, oh well, back to the war between the cats and the dogs.

    And thats how the first civil conflict might break out in the Antipodes.

  3. TGC

    June 19, 2016 at 12:25 am

    #4 Andrew Wilkie sucked a swag of cash out of Julia Gillard for a Royal Hobart Hospital development.

    And hasn’t that been a great success?

  4. Norm Vanderfeen

    June 18, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Herr Abetz was given the #1 spot for moving to Tasmania and becoming the ‘regional governor’ for the Liberal Party hierarchy in Sydney. That’s why he thinks he owns it.
    Other head office selections are Bernardi in SA, McDonald in Qld and the delightful Cash in WA.
    Herr Abetz is fully aware Tasmanians don’t keep him in power and works for the Oligarchs who do.

    He record shows he only attends the Senate half the time and he constantly votes against the interests of Tasmanians.
    I expect he will retire and piss off back to a corner office in Sydney sometime after the election.
    I was talking to someone from Sydney yesterday who has a bottle of Tasmanian whisky he will open on the day Abetz retires.

    Abetz is a perfect example of why we need to turn the current duopoly into a democracy.
    Unfortunately this is not the Election to do it. The best hope is to Labor elected to stop the Asset stripping and job destroying trade deals.

    Labor preferenced the Liberals over the Greens to force this choice and keep the duopoly. I’d like to fill the parliament with people like Andrew Wilkie and make it a function democracy.

  5. TGC

    June 18, 2016 at 6:44 pm

    32 Replacing “financial canker being dumped upon this Tasmanian State.” – will- or may well- be the stuff Bill Shorten has promised- is that also “canker” or is there a more grateful word?

  6. William Boeder

    June 18, 2016 at 2:56 pm

    John, I and many other Tasmanian Times forum attendees would like to get our heads around the fact that the Liberal party in this State is repeatedly showing that they are dealing out their cards from a stacked deck.
    How can a State-wide grossly unpopular Liberal party candidate position himself as the Number 1 candidate among other candidates that have to compete for re election in the Tasmanian Senate elections on July 2nd?
    Greg James has provided 25,000 good reasons (that of the people who had voted against Eric Abetz holding the Number 1 position.)

    In effect Abetz is illegally claiming that he has the Number 1 pole position, this appears to me to be an unauthorised demandingly rigged position or a bogus line of non-legitimate standing.

    All well and good if this candidate has something to offer Tasmania other than a history of beguilements, secret undisclosed dealings with the Internationally recognized corrupt Terrible Ta Ann timber titans, then his being the one time prolific promoter of the MIS plantation tax dodging scam that cost this State’s citizens and business people, along with many mainland investors, their enormous financial losses.

    Then that a large amount of this Abetz crowing promotion agenda toward this MIS Scheme across Australia that sought all amounts of investment money, yet now we see a great deal of this investment money ending up in the revenue bunker of the lesser reputed but Big 4 Bank preferred Korda Mentha Insolvency Practitioners.

    This tragic set of circumstances rests at the feet of candidate Abetz, wise up the people of Tasmania, by not voting in any way that supports candidate Abetz, (keep in mind the above events) then that stance will remove all prospect of a further financial canker being dumped upon this Tasmanian State.

  7. TGC

    June 18, 2016 at 12:45 pm

    Interesting that ‘Scruffy’ was knocked back given that the Greens’ applications have been accepted.

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