It’s enough to make you clasp your skull to stop your head exploding.

Kevin Rudd, elected with an environmental mandate on climate action, whaling, and the Murray-Darling, doesn’t seem to have done anything on any of them – apart from shredding the Garnaut Report, ignoring the drought, and waiting six days to gauge public response to the sinking of a Sea Shepherd vessel before telling Peter Garrett to have an opinion.

Tony Abbott thinks there is more evidence for God than for global warming but wants 2010 to be the year the COALition puts the conservative in conservation.

Next, free abortions for unionists and taxpayer funded one-way honeymoons for newly married gay couples.

But Tony isn’t promoting this wishy-washy tofu-flavoured sweatshop-safe kind of pinko light green that he has fought tooth and nine-inch nail over the decades. No, Wingnut wants voters to get behind a “standing Green Army” – a veritable KISS Army, oozing ultra-progressive right-wing cool, with shovels instead of guitars and sunscreen instead of eye-stars.

This won’t just be your typical Liberal rapid response mutual-obligation NewStart work-or-starve army, but a wave of dark green 15,000 strong, each receiving up to $50,000 per year because, hey, it’s the 20th century already. Maybe even 21st.

But people are unfairly harshing Abbott’s emerald vert epiphany, pointing out that his party made big environmental promises at the last minute in 2007 only because they were desperate for votes, and that previously the Liberals were George Bush’s only Western ally in stymieing all attempts at global action on climate change. People point out that Abbott, though his own man, is still very much a blue-ribbon ultra-conservative in the mould of John Howard.

By doing so they miss the fact that in this instance his mentor is actually Kevin Rudd. Driven mad by his voter-led sacking from power, exhausted with thinking up new topics for Senate Committees to investigate to get his colleagues’ pay-grades closer to what they were receiving as Ministers, Abbott has succumbed to the lessons of the left-wing Dark Side.

For it is better to sound good, than to do good.

Can we get a committee to look into that?