Mike Bolan
I WAS RECENTLY privileged to be present during ‘high level’ discussions between all 3 levels of government and local community members, to urgently deal with the problem of over 130 sawmill workers who were retrenched by Gunns.
Community concerns included loss of the skilled workforce to the area, housing market impacts from so many people potentially leaving and the creation of a mini regional downturn.
Present were politicians from all levels of government plus about 30 community members.
After the meeting opened, the excitement rose to Novocaine pitch and, doubled forward with my head in my hands, I drifted into one of my reveries, driven by the pace of events swirling around me.
Goodbye cruel world
On the bridge of the cruise ship Australis, Captain Krud noted that massive icebergs were reported in the water ahead. He called his officers together in the main stateroom to decide a plan of action.
‘Something of an emergency people,’ he said ‘it would be highly inappropriate for us to hit one of those bergs as our maintenance budget is already fully committed.’
There was a collective gasp of horror.
‘In fact, the situation is so dire that I’m prepared to approve a complete feasibility study.’
‘We’ll need to contact IceWatch to establish their exact position’ said the Chief Officer
‘Better make sure that LandSat is involved too as they can give us a satellite image to show any bergy bits not picked up by IceWatch’ proposed the Deck Officer.
‘I think we should involve Central Co-ordination to make sure that we get all that information and use it appropriately’ argued the Navigator’s assistant.
‘Central Navigation Service certainly need to be contacted urgently to assure that our course is maximally appropriate and that we have the right authority for any course changes’ said from someone at the back.
‘Speaking for the deck officers, I’d like it on record that we stand 120% behind all appropriate decisions ‘ piped up the Viability Officer.
‘Hang on’ said Krud ‘ We can’t proceed without proper records and that means proper secretarial and administrative help.’
‘Good thinking skipper. Legal needs to be in on this’ said Navs, ‘to make sure our liabilities are properly covered in the unlikely event of anything inappropriate’.
‘It would certainly be ill advised not to contact Insurance Branch, sir’.
‘OK’ commanded Krud. ‘This is an historic opportunity and we’re going to need to take action as a committee. Set up a conference call with all relevant stakeholders…and get that last officer off the bridge – we need him down here making decisions not gawping at the view….and get me those administrators!’
A commotion at the stateroom door was headed off by security who reported that the steersman was trying to get into the meeting.
‘Get rid of him’ said Krud ‘can’t he see that we’ve got important decisions to make? Whatever he wants – it can wait until we’ve got the key issues defined and have approved strategies for dealing with them.’
About 20 minutes later, the atmosphere in the stateroom had relaxed somewhat as the assembly helped themselves to the various drinks and nibbles from the bar.
Another ruckus at the stateroom door was ably headed off by security who reported that the steersman and a lookout were trying to shout a message through the portal.
‘No interruptions!’ commanded Krud. ‘Whatever they want, it can’t be as important as avoiding those icebergs and staying within our budget. If they do it again, put them in the brig.’
After the administrators arrive and unpacked their files, connected their laptops and swapped introductions, Krud asks ‘What actions have been taken in situations like this in the past that set a precedent for us, here today?’
‘Can’t really say, sir’.
‘Why not?’
‘The last budget round reduced our investment in the on-board IT and comms server. Until the new XT500 software package is installed and operational, we really can’t define the situation, sir. In any case we really need more staff’.
‘We’ll need to correct all that urgently. We need to have some form of course plan going forward.’
‘Can’t apply until the end of the next fiscal now sir,’ said one helpfully.
‘OK. Radio Officer, can we get the data from AusLink?’
‘Yes sir, but we’ll need approval from AusLink command. If you’ll fill out an urgent authorisation, they can fax us a form 808 RT without undue delay.’
‘OK sparks, get onto it…oh and tell them it’s urgent will you?’
KKKRRAAAAKKKKKAAAADOOOOOMMMM!
Back to reality
Bracing for a flood of icy brine through the door, I lifted my head and saw that my neighbour had slid comatose off his chair into the coffee supplies crate.
Around the conference table everyone appeared to be drugged, sleeping or both, except one person who was reading from several sheets of paper advising all present that ‘intensive’ courses might be available through Centrelink and, were such courses made available, the entire region could be turned around creating a jobs bonanza and a tsunami of investment.
Someone stated that State Development had a coterie of highly competent staff who could turn this situation into business plan ‘gold’ that could release a veritable blizzard of cash.
Realising that the triple layer polity had obviously achieved more than in anyone’s wildest dreams and eschewing the curly sambos and plastic foam coffee cups, I got up to leave.
The Lib/Lab pollies exuded both confidence and smug satisfaction at a job well done.
As I exited, I heard someone state that they were planning to take immediate action by forming a committee that would make application to the government for….
The door swung shut behind me disconnecting me from the excitement.
It was a lovely night with dew already condensing on the cars in the lot, the moon peering through high level cirrus and bathing the area in a soft glow.
I was so relieved to know that the good burghers of Scottsdale and their less fortunate laborers were in such fine hands.
Watch this space.
Mike Bolan
www.abetteraustralia.com
Mike is a complex systems consultant, change facilitator and executive and management coach.
