Martin Stevenson, The Examiner

The Examiner reveals the naked truth about Tandra Vale’s challenge, Go the FULL MONTY to stop the pulp mill …
The article:

It’s more than most can bare

As you engage in the usual round of social activities this weekend keep a wary eye out for any naked woman with NO PULP MILL written in cold porridge down her left arm.

For here is an anti-mill protestor slavishly following a suggestion made as part of a current environment campaign.

The concept, as reported in a Tasmanian-based Web site*, calls for people opposed to building the $1.6 billion Tamar Valley pulp mill to take off their clothes and, using lipstick, crayon or shaving cream, write messages about their person.

It seems that photographs will then be taken and collated and published as a book.

The campaign, by greenster group Pulp Mill Art Action, appears to have been inspired by a photograph and message sent to the PMAA by an Edinburgh woman.

The Web site picture shows a long-legged naked female displaying the message PULP IS PORRIDGE down her left arm. (No, we do not know how porridge was extruded to form this message but imagine a cook’s piping device could be useful.)

No doubt, and given the allegedly frugal habits of the Scottish, after the photo shoot the porridge was scraped into a saucepan, reheated, sprinkled with salt and consumed for lunch — picking out the arm hairs first, of course.

Anyway, in promoting the protest, the site ran the headline “Go the full monty to stop the pulp mill”, before a lengthy (and largely irrelevant) preamble: “From time to time, various charities put out a challenge and encourage people (sometimes even policemen) to shave their heads, dye their hair green, go on very long walks, or something like that, to raise money to support their cause.”

Then it suggested that readers should “go all the way for art” and “get totally naked” to pursue the cause of pulp mill opposition.

This, as we soon discovered, was no matter of unclothed banner-wielding folk marching along the mall (a form of protest we heartily endorse), but an exciting initiative that would see naked persons asked to strip off and write a message on their arms, legs or torso condemning the mill.

Some will, no doubt, be tempted to write NO PULP MILLS IN TASSIE with a downpointing arrow.

Although one may rightly ask how anyone is going to be swayed by having NO TO PULP MILL written in porridge across one’s expansive and hairy gut, that is hardly the point.

Here is a campaign that may be adapted by anyone who is angry about anything.

Women who favour the mill could seize the chance to write positive messages on their ample bosoms, such as ANTI-MILL PEOPLE GET ON MY TIT.

Those tireless folk still protesting over various houses being built overlooking the First Basin could organise a GET IT OFF FOR THE GORGE weekend.

North-West rural persons concerned over paddocks being employed by tree farmers are encouraged to start a naked KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OUR BUSH, er, push.

Certainly there is scope for anyone protesting over Launceston’s rates to strip off and proclaim on their bottoms MY RATES ARE A BUM RAP.

Yours etc has just had a ghastly thought. Ever the opportunists, politicians will want to get on the bandwagon.

We must insist that Premier Paul Lennon not tear off his shirt to reveal felt-penned messages.

And someone has to be assigned to hide Greens leader Peg Putt’s packet of instant porridge.

*Don’t be coy, don’t be embarrassed, it”s: www.oldtt.pixelkey.biz and Tandra, Go the FULL MONTY to stop the pulp mill is ready to receive your naked truth …