Was there a bird in the Senate chamber or not this week? There may have been a slightly confused one on Wednesday thanks to Nationals whip Julian McGauran.
Senator McGauran raised the ire of Opposition and minor party senators when he flipped them a finger across the chamber after counting the Government’s numbers in a close vote.
McGauran’s colourful gesture was in response to Opposition heckling over how long it was taking him to add up his total.
As a sign of appreciation, while walking back to his seat the good Senator let loose a bird… or half a bird it would seem.
Flipping the bird of course is the vernacular for raising the middle finger towards one’s opponents and would be regarded by just about all and sundry as unparliamentary behaviour.
But McGauran exposed only a mere sparrow across the chamber instead of an eagle in full flight.
Rather than raise the middle finger, McGauran shoved Mr Pointy skywards three times while smirking at the Opposition.
An index finger technically doesn’t constitute a fully qualified bird and the Government’s man probably thought he had escaped with a good laugh.
But the other side of the chamber vocalised their outrage … but only once they realised that the gesture was caught on television.
A Labor press conference was called demanding an apology and a copy of the tape was rushed to Tasmania’s own Senate President Paul Calvert to examine after Greens leader Bob Brown suggested it was obscene.
Senator Calvert ruled that the gesture was unseemly, but not obscene.
“You have failed in your duty to uphold the standing orders of this Senate,” was Brown’s reply to Calvert.
Arrogance
“If Senator McGauran can get away with an obscene gesture in front of all the people of Australia in proper proceedings on the floor of this Senate, then what behaviour does the Prime Minister not permit in this place?
“At what level of arrogance does the Prime Minister think the line should be drawn? There is no line. Anything goes. The Government is to be protected from anything it does.”
The rest of the Senate was probably left wondering what John Howard had to do with it, but Brown linked McGauran’s behaviour right back to the PM’s promise that a majority in the Senate would not lead to Government arrogance.
Brown wasn’t alone though in feigning outrage. Labor and the Democrats all raised objections to the offending bird that wasn’t.
Senior Government Senator Robert Hill rose to condemn Senator Brown as being out of order.
But it was the Nationals’ Ron Boswell who really turned it on while attempting to defend his embattled birdman.
So enthusiastic was Boswell that the gallery could see (and perhaps even feel) the spit flying out of his mouth while he turned the tables back on Brown.
“You would think this was the end of the world. One of the most gross acts of disregard for both houses of parliament occurred when Senator Brown insulted the leader of the United States,” he said before wiping his chin.
“You have offended just about every law in Tasmania. You have been locked up dozens of times.”
Boswell then went on to suggest Brown had not only offended Tasmanian law, but “every law in Australia” before the Democrats’ Andrew Bartlett rose to suggest the Nationals’ Senator was probably exaggerating a tad about the number of laws Brown may or may not have offended.
The President agreed and pulled Boswell into line.
Debate continued and the Calvert was asked to change his ruling and force McGauran to apologise.
But McGauran was nowhere to be seen. The bird flew the coup straight after the initial vote and the offending gesture.
The Dems called for dissent from the President’s ruling, before the birdman returned to the chamber to express his regret at any offence he might have caused.
Not good enough for the Dems and the Greens, but the debate was adjourned.
Colourful Liberal Senator Bill Heffernan was later seen walking by Bob Brown and showing him the full bird.
But then that was outside of the chamber — where Government arrogance is okay.
Chris Johnson is federal political reporter for The West Australian.
