About 230 years ago, James Boswell recorded Dr Johnson’s “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel” in his volume 2 of his Life of Johnson (p 348, 7 April 1775).
Were the irascible doctor here now, he’d probably reckon fiddling with slogans as the last trickery of the terminally and habitually incompetent.
A new, and perhaps virulent, and maybe contagious, outbreak of governmental stupidity was reported in the Herald Sun in: this story
and in The Age under: New state logo would cost millions
A more fatuous, insulting and wasteful proposal would hardly emanate from Moron Economics 101.
“Fatuous” because of the idea’s silliness: do Messrs Bracks, Thwaites and Brumby seriously think that millions of tourists and thousands of investors are going to see their new logo, and head Vic-wards yelling “They’ve got a new logo – must rush !” ?
Victorian resident Bernadette Zaydan, obviously just the sort of voter governments love, reckons that her slogan “Victoria — Where Opportunity Awaits You” would encourage tourists, investors or potential migrants to think of the opportunities Victoria offered. Yeah, you can see it now, can’t you: the Spirits I, II & III chockers, like 19th century emigration clippers, with Tasmanians salivating after one sighting of the new Vic numberplate. Any remaining Doubting Thomases and Thomasinas will be won over by Victorian Acting Premier John Thwaites’ claim yesterday that the new logo would target the international market and eventually generate millions for the state. The “market” seems to have more than its fair share of drongos, but that many . . . ?
“Insulting” to the taxpayers of Victoria, whose money will be wasted on it, as it assumes that they are far too dumb to see through this bling-bling. Hasn’t federal ALP just lost an election because, inter alia, they treated the voters as naive and/or ignorant ? Still, governments love spending category number 4: spending other people’s money on other people.^
And, beyond all, “wasteful”. Imagine the amount of instant rubbish generate by this sort of change: sadly, easy enough to do by now, as incoming governments seem to assume they have mandates to alter the names of every ministry, office, quango, authority, commission, bureau and department. They can’t all have shares in paper, ink and brass plates, can they ? Gunns won’t mind though, will they ?
Let’s hope that the winds don’t blow southerly from Port Phillip Bay and the Prom, and carry this infection to Premier Lennon and his merry little band of Ministers-for-Everything-that-He/She-in-the-Front-Row-isn’t-Minister-For.
But, somewhere, in a back room, some pimply-faced screen-jockey is already on the job, and your new TAS numberplates are on the way.
In Macbeth’s ‘moment of truth’, Shakespeare has him rabbiting on about “a tale, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing” [V, v, 28-30]. The Bard, as usual, gets to compose the best line for any situation.
P J O’Rourke, in Eat the Rich – A Treatise on Economics [Picador, 1998; ISBN 0 330 36111 2] reckons that there are four categories of spending:
1. spend your money on yourself;
2. spend your money on other people;
3. spend other people’s money on yourself;
4. spend other people’s money on other people.
“If you spend your money on yourself, you look for the best value at the best price. . . . And if you spend other people’s money on other people, any damn thing will do and the hell with what it costs. Almost all government spending falls into category four. This is how the grateful residents of Ukraine got Chernobyl.” (pp 239-240)
And that’s why the [possibly un]grateful people of Victoria may end up with new-sloganed numberplates and less-well maintained roads to display them on. Still, they’ll feel right at home on our West Tamar Hwy.
PS: during 18 months of backpacking [mainly through Western-Civilisation-as-we-know-it] in 1988 and in 1998, we (Margaret and I) did not refer to a single state/city/country slogan/logo/motto/brand as a factor in deciding to go there or not. Nor, would we guess, would many other people.
One final word on logos: remember the German Democratic Republic ? Think of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea? As they say in the Yiddish, possibly the world’s most succinctly expressive language, slogan schmlogan.
One last thought: perhaps Margaret and I had better get in a quick trip across the strait Before the Rush Begins.
Leonard Colquhoun
All about Leonard: click here
