Glenorchy City Council is on track to record a unique Tasmanian achievement by gaining a place in the Guinness Book of World Records. A spokesman for GBWR, Hype Much, said that a nomination had been received for World’s Shittest Political Drama for goings-on at the Council.
“Of course every record nomination is carefully examined,” explained Much, “but on the face of it this one appears to have a very strong case.”
Something-gate, in which someone said something to someone else and someone got upset, has been riveting news in Tasmania over the past week. “We’ve been told that someone then left a meeting, but the meeting continued,” said Much. “The spectacular lack of intrigue is superbly unimpressive.”
Glenorchy Mayor Kristie Johnston said she was unaware of the nomination but promised to get peeved about it. “Guinness Book of World Records has a history of bullying blonde female Glenorchy mayors who don’t have majority support and are prone to spontaneously over-reacting,” she claimed. She also intimated that if GBWR didn’t back off then Federal MP Andrew Wilkie would upload a YouTube video where he frowned at the famous book through thick glasses. “I’m warning you, he might even wring his hands,” Johnston thundered.
Guinness spokesman Much noted that coming events could make or break the prestigious nomination. “Look, it’s not my role to tell people how to set world records, but frankly if councillors start mouthing homilies about needing to sit down and talk then this Political Drama has World’s Shittiest all over it.”
The other nine Glenorchy aldermen were approached for comment but none were able to make themselves available. Unconfirmed reports suggested they were holed up in Rosetta being coached by Julian Amos for a public pissing competition on Labour Day. Indonesian President Joko Widodo stated that he was unwilling to intervene on behalf of members of the Norky Nine, and that they only had themselves to blame for their fate.
