If I had one thing to give to the world as a result of my 21 years here, it would be this. It would be a model, which when properly understood and applied would bring about peace on Earth. An ambitious claim, I know. But I’m right. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. The evidence is clear and decisive.

When you apply this model in your thinking, every single interpersonal relationship begins to heal. It’s not without pain. It’s not without struggle. It’s not without chaos. But that is necessary in anything. Suffering and pain, they’re the seeds of growth, watered by the tears of our hearts.

The model is very simple. In any interpersonal conflict between two people, neither of them are who they would seem to be. The surface impressions are simply superficial.

When there’s any conflict, any triggering of emotions like anger, or sadness, or rage, you enter into a psychological drama. This is all unconscious to both parties. Neither are aware it’s happening. But you see, we all have these memories stored within us. Formed in childhood and during other intense periods, we record these snapshots of our past.

There will be certain trigger points that activate these snapshots. Then the dance begins. The two people involved become actors, characters.

Let me give you an example.

A woman, she’s a mother. And her abusive partner, a father.

The man grew up in a household with an alcoholic father. The woman grew up spoiled as a kid, the golden child of a narcissist.

Something happens. I’m not sure what. It’s a complex subject without an intimate knowledge of both peoples lives, one of the big problems of morality.

The man is reminded of his past, at some point, some major event in his life.

Suddenly, in his unconscious mind, a switch flips. The woman is now his child self. He is now the abuser. He replays the role of the abuser hurting him, unknowingly.

The woman is beaten. But remember, she’s innocent in this, just like he was. It’s not her fault. She did nothing wrong. Even if she had done something wrong situationally in the present, like to provoke the man, or call him a name that’s got nothing to do with the beating.

Unknown to her, she triggered a memory in the man, who is now replaying it.

These people, when only considered in the situational time span are viewed through the black and white lens called victim and perpetrator. But one must recognise that nothing is black and white. Nothing happens in a vacuum.

If you were able to zoom out, to see the life of the man unfolded as if it were a film reel, a movie of his life, and likewise, if you could see the same of the woman, you’d understand. You’d spot the same scene being replayed from earlier in his childhood. It would make total sense.

This is true even of the simplest conflict interactions. The verbal bully in the schoolyard who picks on the weird kid is simply re-enacting some kind of verbal abuse either witnessed between father and mother, or that was perpetrated upon him.

This principle extends all the way up the family tree, for every family on Earth. I predict that this phenomenon has its causal roots stretching right back to the genesis of life itself. This wheel of history. This unconscious psychological drama has had a lot of backstage work.

I have no formal knowledge in psychology. I have read no books from any philosophers or psychologists. The closest I have to formal knowledge is a large exposure to some fantastic and insightful quotations of history’s greatest thinkers.

I think this, in a strange way, makes me an excellent person to talk about this subject. Rather than getting my knowledge of psychology from books, being riddled with terminologies and a certain rigidity in thinking, I have formulated my knowledge from introspecting on direct and raw experience and real-world knowledge. Knowledge of myself and the people in my life. I have tested these theories and applied them to my life.

There is no one in the world I can ever resent or seek revenge for. I have become completely beholden to the truth. I literally cannot ever judge anyone. Because my eyes have been opened. What has been seen, cannot be unseen.

I am forced to consider a given human being on a time span far greater than anyone is used to. Though the resolution of my impressions decreases the further out I go in time, I have enough markers and information to generate the conclusion. Everyone is innocent. Everyone is a product of their environment. No one at 1 year old as an innocent child, decides to be evil.

Evil deserves redemption, not damnation.

“Your trauma is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.”

Once you become conscious of the past that you are a product of, it is incumbent upon you to also consider the past of those that hurt you. Then, you must walk toward the future. What would be wrong is if you decided to ignore this. To hide from the pain. You must finally open your eyes, look at your wounds, and understand that you are not defective. You did not call these forth upon you. They are not a punishment for anything within you.

You are an amazing being, something that for all my poetic prose and extensive vocabulary I cannot do justice to with words.

You are quite simply the most magnificent thing that has ever graced the surface of this Earth. Because you are not just a solitary human being in a solitary body. You are so much more than that. Everything that you look around you and see, everyone, every drop of water, that’s you too.

Don’t you realise that you are literally everything? Though your focus and attention are fixed within one body, do not for a moment be fooled into believing that body is you. That your name is you.

My name, My body, my this, my that. Who am I? Who is the I that is conscious?

You have to have faith. That is belief in the presence of doubt. Not belief in the absence of evidence as false prophets would have you believe. No one believes in anything without evidence.

I was saved by an act of faith, love and mercy. He had infinitely more strength than me, he was infinitely more humble. He had a heart that I aspire to one day have. I was a bully. I was controlling. I was vindictive. I held a complete disregard for the emotions of others and the impact I had on them. Despite this, my best friend, who I sometimes viciously bullied, did something remarkable. He told me the truth. Without anger, without resentment, without a bone of malice in his body, he told me what I was doing to people. He told me the effect I had on people. He reminded me of the shining person that he caught glimpses of, when I was safe, when these psychological dramas were not being triggered. He gave me the right words to recognize that there was a soul inside me still.

In a situation where he had every right to cast a stone, to seek revenge, to do anything he wanted to me, when he had every moral high ground one could imagine, he forgave me. His name is Zak Howard.

It cracked that hard outer shell. The shell I had built up as a result of being unable to distinguish between genuine criticism, juvenile insults, offense at my personality, etc.

It helped me begin that process of developing a more nuanced view.

A view that wasn’t “They hate me because I’m that one weird kid.”

No, at times that was true, but for the most part, they hated me because I was an asshole. An annoying asshole, who knew how to get under people’s skin.

Well, I can now say, I’ve turned that aspect of me into something I can use for the better. I will not go away until every single person on Earth understands the message I am here to share. Because of one simple reason.

When you are not your true and authentic self. When you are constantly living in the past or the future. When you are your abuser, rather than yourself, you are in a prison. Hell.

And while these dramas are still being triggered. While the wheel of history keeps turning. Until there is peace on Earth, we are still in Hell.

I end with my words on love, faith, and mercy.

The people who say love is foolish are only right on the surface level.

Love, at its core, is treating people far better than they deserve, even when they hurt you. Especially when they hurt you.

This isn’t foolish however. It’s actually the best strategy for everyone, because if you have the strength to endure the pain, and that capacity for love, you transform people.

You treat me better than I deserve, that is love.

You forgive me when I do not deserve it, that is mercy.

You believe in me when there is doubt, that is faith.

No wonder these things are divine.