1. The Canberra Cleaning Staff And Canteen Help
If that keeper of the rod could just cancel out in striking down to clip or clout
The next dumber-than-dumb comment of a Canberra-clutz: if he could just rap
The skulls of so many empty vessels: those time-wasting, mincing back-bench dills
Owned as the Whip’s own question-time-ventriloquist-dummies: such limpid little party hacks!
If that ceremonial sergeant-at-arms could just be called in each day for a mild affray
In “rauzing” out and removing each dunder-headed-drop-kicked-donkey-clop, each
One-term-wonder-Dorothy-dixer paid as a fop for a tool’s own waste of grace and
Time and space, performing in that fool’s own parliamentary paradise for clowns;
If we could sweep the floor of a chamber that’s always-empty-when-its full, could
Pass those pissweak moral cowards the broom and the mop, to let the canteen-help
And the cleaning staff be called to take vacated seats, to fill each ministerial void
Sucking precious air from the cabinet room, then we just might resuscitate the patient
In helping to save a nation by letting all of the garden and the laundry staff
Assist the tourist guides and drivers and the security guards decide better what is
Right, and what is wrong, which is truth, which path is wise, and though this little lyric
Started as a joke, do not doubt: such change would bring us smarter, vastly superior, leadership!
2. A Sixpence For Their Party Hats
I’m offering threepence each for a Canberra hack but
Sixpence for their party hats, plus a bob for their job as a
Back bench nob, with a florin for every red faced, flustered Dorothy-Dixer;
I’ll give ten bob for the toys of the backroom boys, with a pound for each fool to
Be found – still shuffled around – in yet another post challenge porfolio, but a guinea
Is given – and fair for the price – if you might find just one, honest man, in there, a minister.
3. Yet Another Energy Policy Promise
If our parliamentary members should ever take a lie detector: oh my God!
Don’t worry about South Australia or the Eastern states, don’t bother backing up
Power in the Melbourne and Sydney marginal electorates: they’d black out not
Just the whole south-eastern seaboard, but all of the southern hemisphere!
4. Just A Little Compliment For The Parliament
“I would like to offer our parliament
A softer kind of compliment, to commend
The worthy members, for their quality of work.
Err: When will they start? “