Tasmanian Times

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. No price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. No price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Article

Shamewanking over griefporn

Scomo from his website ...

 

I think it’s time for ScoMo to break out the raw onions.

After all, there’s still a handful of escaped mental patients who think Tony Abbott should make a comeback, and if ScoMo could possibly swing them behind him by necking a fistful of stinking fresh bulbs and stripping down to a pair of bright, red dick-stickers, why not just go for it?

The alternative is going limp in the middle of the road and just waiting for the eighteen wheel road train that’s coming to turn him into street pizza. And it could hardly be less ill-considered than trashing decades of bipartisan agreement not to fuck around with the septic mess of Isreali-Palestinian politics for the sake of a few votes.

But ScoMo’s accidental prime ministership is now so terminal that even the magic onion might not save him. What a fucking disaster his soon to be short-lived Turd Reich turned out to be. An imploding supermassive shitshow of desperate incompetence so violently bunglefucked six ways from Sunday that even listing the major oh-no moments feels like shamewanking over grief porn.

This week alone — and just this week — heading into a history-making beatdown from the unforgiving voters of Malcolm Turnbull’s old seat, ScoMo and Co managed to shit the bed not once, but on four separate occasions:

Not just voting in favour of a white power meme cunningly disguised as a white power meme by red-headed white-power She-Ra cosplay champion, Fraulein Hanson…

But also letting Melissa Price, the very surprising Environment Minister and sentient coal-fired killdozer get loose in a Canberra restaurant where multiple witnesses saw her monster the former president of Kiribati and shit-talk the rest of the Pacific Islands community in a way that sounded a bit like your drunken Uncle Bob getting pantsless and punchy at a family barbecue.    

Not content to piss off pretty much every island nation that Beijing has earmarked to bury in a tsunami wave train of hard currency loans and developmental ‘assistance’, ScoMo personally stepped up to the crease and promptly tripped over his own cock by flopping it out to wave in the face of the entire Muslim world with his brainfart about moving the Australian Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem.

Israel (two way trade worth about a billion dollars a year) was stoked, thanks mate.

Jakarta (two way trade worth a lazy sixteen billion dollars a year) was not so fucking stoked.

Nor were the dozen or more Arab ambassadors who met in Canberra to release a joint statement detailing their extreme lack of stoke for ScoMo’s desperate pursuit of the Jewish vote in Wentworth. (A demographic the witless idiot already had in the bag).

The free trade agreement with Indonesia is now in play, along with billions of dollars of agricultural exports to the Middle East. The National Party’s farmland constituents would be probably displeased, if the National Party had not decided to distract them and everyone else by floating the prospect of getting ruddy-cheeked pork swordsman Bonerby Joyce back as leader.

And that was just last week.

It will be over, sort of, by the time cocktail hour rolls around at Bondi Beach and the polls close in Wentworth. Maybe the government hangs on. Maybe they get beaten like a giant novelty gong. Either way, ScoMo has proved that the only thing he was ever good for was remotely torturing refugees, when nobody could actually see what he was up to. And by the end of the week, with both the UN and thousands of local doctors demanding the release of children imprisoned in our Pacific gulags, it looked like ScoMo couldn’t even fall back on his proud legacy as a prison camp overseer to save his worthless arse.

 

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9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Rob Halton

    October 24, 2018 at 8:04 am

    Unfortunately the Moderator has missed to point. As a reader I am not impressed with paragraphs that totally degrade the PM to the point of utter disgust !

    Quoting from Birmingham’s obscene offering .. “ScoMo personally stepped up to the crease and promptly tripped over his own cock by flopping it out to sway in the face of the entire Muslim population”! Plus The work f…… has been abused 4x!

    There is no way anyone deserves this type of vitriol thrown at them and I would hope that at the very least Birmingham attracts the attention of the Australian Federal Police to closely study the case history of what I perceive as a public offender.

    I wonder how females such as newly elected Independent Kerryn Phelps, or any other female, would react if a feminine version of this insulting gesture got into print for the public viewing.

    Urban Wronski’s rather radical versions of political events never reached the sort of lows that Birmingham has achieved!

    • Russell

      October 25, 2018 at 7:27 am

      Birmingham only says what most people are thinking, and I welcome it.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Russell, your multiple obscenities have been deleted.

      — Moderator

  2. Russell

    October 23, 2018 at 7:53 am

    It’s not fair! Discrimination, I say!

  3. Russell

    October 23, 2018 at 7:52 am

    I like your style John, lol.

  4. Chris

    October 23, 2018 at 7:45 am

    Rob has been robbed of any rational criticism if it is counter to his rigid outlook!
    Pity we did not hear, or read, something constructive!

  5. Rob Halton

    October 22, 2018 at 8:15 pm

    A poor choice of vile language, and stupid with such a degrading dialogue!

    I cannot believe the strict Ruling of the TT Authority would publish this trash! It must be getting sick and tired of the overrun of LGITBQ articles, most of which are pretty rubbishy and unnecessary, and which could all have been contained in one or two articles so TT could concentrate its efforts on more of those essential, politically aligned articles.

    Birmingham badly needs a case manager to examine his desire to treat the world with such contempt!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Robin, TT’s ABOUT tab opens with these words: “Tasmanian Times is a forum of discussion and dissent – a cheeky, irreverent challenge to the mass media’s obsession with popularity, superficiality and celebrity.”

    Comments containing obscenities are rigorously edited.

    — Moderator

  6. Simon Warriner

    October 22, 2018 at 7:41 pm

    An epic rant. I laughed ’til tears ran down my face. A cartoon depiction of paragraph 8 would be an absolute cracker.

  7. William Boeder

    October 22, 2018 at 4:33 pm

    It seems that John Hamilton is not too worried about receiving a Chrissy card from Scow-Mow and his Scowery this year.

  8. Christopher Eastman-Nagle

    October 22, 2018 at 3:33 pm

    I haven’t seen such exasperated vitriol since the overthrow of Gough Whitlam. Understable.

    The Koal Klutching Klutzes don’t seem to understand how out of their depth they have got, and how far out from shore they have drifted.

    It is going to be a long way back for those who actually make it past the next election …

    May they be sufficiently chastened to start making some sense again after a terrible period of abortive anti science groupthink … but not having had so much of the stuffing knocked out of them they cannot continue to call the bluff of that other bastion of unsustainable and irrational groupthink, ie bleeding heart asylum seeker policy run by ideological cream puffs who have no more idea of the consequences of what they are doing than the anthropogenic climate change deniers!

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