As a special guest of dishonour, the Hag attended the Private Forestry Tasmania forum last week at the ‘main bar’ at the Hobart Showgrounds. With the vibe of half Gothic hipster mock-but-real 1980s hostelry, half abandoned low-rent truck-stop, 40 or so grizzled, hard-bitten and wary foresters gathered to discuss one thing: How the fuck to make cash out of trees these days.

Among the ranks of the grizzled men, for they were almost exclusively so, was the venerable Adriana Taylor, still ‘commissioner’ of Huon Valley Council (until October). When the floor opened for questions, Ms Taylor accidentally on purpose got up with a speech instead. “I’m a member of PFT and have always been a strong supporter of the industry.”

Ms Taylor complained of having “suffered” through the Dover woodchip process, the implication being that she couldn’t speak her true feelings, presumably something along the lines of “show me the fucking woodchips!”

“I was obviously objective in my role during the campaign against the proposed woodchip port,” she claimed. Obviously. But she was only getting warmed up.

“We should urge the Government to play its part,” she told the room, warning them also just how “organised” the Green movement really was. “Why can’t the government find a southern port?” she mused.

Her theme was enthusiastically picked up by vanquished woodchip magnate, James Neville-Smith, at the front of the room, who concurred. In return she suggested the forum issue a media release calling on the government to find a southern port.

At this point, newly-minted head of FIAT, cuff links a-glint, Craig Jones sprang forward priapically and magnanimously offered to send the media release from FIAT. At this point PFT’s timber himbo Martin Moroni stepped in and told everyone to calm down, which they did.

Even by the Hag’s gutter standards, she was impressed just how quickly Adriana Taylor could go from being objective commissioner to woodchip fan-girl. (Er, while still being commissioner, natch.) For anyone who didn’t believe it before, you should now.

*The Hag is Tasmanian Times’ scurrilous gossip monger …