Our conservative government regularly attempts to use English language and grammar skills as tool in selecting potential incoming migrants. However the average Liberal or National politicians’ grasp of English might suggest a degree of incompetence. Remember Abbott’s faux pas on suppositories!
However let’s start with an exploration of grammar, in particular verbs and their relationship to the Conservative government. Verbs are of course the action words of our sentences. We shall study and adjust verbs as descriptors and won’t engage in any verbaling or at least keep such attempts minimal. So, let’s begin at the top of government.
Verb: to turnbull
Description: this is the act of jettisoning earlier political beliefs or philosophies in order to achieve power in a political party.
Usage: Malcolm turnbulled his earlier deeply held desire to promote republicanism in Australia, in order to attain the prime ministership.
Verb: to joyce
Description: Initially joycing indicated oafish right wing behaviour. While still incorporating such boring right wing behaviour, joycing now indicates duplicity espousing conservatives values at a public level but practising the opposite on a personal level.
Usage: Barnaby was joycing to his heart’s content during the debate on marriage equality.
Verb: to cash
Description: Basically cashing means to make extraordinary political blunders and somehow retain one’s political skin. In effect what should have been a spectacular crash is avoided and to a lesser political cash. A sub meaning indicates that cashing is only possible in a very tight parliament where government skins cannot be shed.
Usage: Michaelia should have crashed politically but has at this point in time only cashed badly following her office’s media alert on an impeding police raid on a union office.
Historically English has been a a grand absorber and coloniser of other languages. So let us examine some non English words and their prospects as verbs.
Verb: to corman
Description: Initially there is a desire to morph corman into conman. However as we are concentrating on verbs, we will need to jettison conman as it is a noun.
So perhaps we might have to gather an imaginary bucket and mop in our hands and make a virtual late night cleaning operation in the Corman parliamentary office. The door squeaks just a little upon our entering. We peer into the darkened room. A gestapo smart leather jacket is slung upon a coat rack. Next we scan across a pale wood desk, expecting perhaps, a slim line, silver cigarette case decorated, possibly, with a fascist emblem, but no nothing. Nervousness rising, we remember those cold unblinking corman grey eyes, never a smile. But as good investigative citizens, we steadfastly move on and open a draw. Shockingly, it is filled with Belgium chocolate, we open the next draw and good heavens more and more Belgium chocolate, cupboards filled with it. Our investigation must conclude the Corman eyes are stealthy longing for chocolate, the stern face merely reflecting a dependency on chocolate. And the once shapely leather jacket, a victim of too much Belgium chocolate.
While all appears innocent, we must remark that Corman is behaving in an Unaustralian manner. He should be supporting Australian chocolate makers. Some bulling maybe required at higher levels to ensure he toes the Australian made chocolate line!
So corman has not given us much verbal joy. However the next foreign name may be more productive.
Verb: to abetz
Description: abetzing means to talk in a manner reminiscent of a sound emitted by a low grade electric power tool. The sound accompanies a generally torrent of right wing blabber. The the abetzing sound factor means that language itself is generally unheard or misunderstood by the abetzing tone.
Usage: Poor Eric is frequently ignored as listeners are turned off by his abetzing.
Perhaps we might meander into State Government territory.
As nobody seems to remember the name of the newly elected South Australian Premier perhaps best to investigate the no quite so recently elected Tasmania Premier
Verb: to hodgman. Let us take a little licence here and perhaps shorten hodgman to hodge.
Verb: to hodge
Description: Hodging is to hide contentious political polices until the very last minute before an election.
Usage: The Tas State premier hedged his election changes by hodging attempts to change Tasmanian gun laws
There is a very strong possibility of a new political verb emerging shortly, generated by Greens leader Richard Di Natalie and his unfortunate run of luck in recent elections. Alienating his troops with chatter about preferencing the Libs and attempts at dumping a Sydney senator, culminating in loosing the Batman by election, we might give him a tentative membership of political verbs.
Verb: to natalize
Description: natalizing indicates a lose of votes.
Usage: Richard spent many unhappy nights pondering his future after a natalizing of the Greens voter base.
*Josephine Zananiri lives in the Independent electorate of Indi and currently works in the manual labour arena tending native and exotic trees, so has plenty of time to think. Followed everywhere by her two dogs Percy and Fino who generally agree on all subjects, only occasionally deserting the conversation in the chase for samba deer! Slight differences in logic can therefore be attributed to the two woofers leaving their critical post!
