*Pic: … from Eric Abetz’s website HERE
The Tasmanian Electoral Commission has refused an application for registration made by the Fuck Me Dead Party. A spokesperson for the TEC stated that the party “had failed to meet the requirements for registration prior to the cut-off date”, beyond which they will be unable to participate in the 2016 Federal election.
Erstwhile leader Ida Dunham-Fershaw said it was a tragedy for democracy that another alternative voice was being silenced. “All we wanted to do was give Tasmanian voters a choice … to express what they’re actually thinking when they see the size of the Senate ballot paper and the number of absolute wankers on it.”
Ms Dunham-Fershaw said she had been on the verge of an exchange of backroom fucking preferences with the Australian Sex Party when the bad news came through.
She did not rule standing candidates in subsequent elections if they could successfully arrange registration, possibly contingent upon changing the name of the party.
Other suggested names, less favoured by the 100 grunting members, include Why Is Voting Compulsory When I Could Be Watching The Footy, Convicts United, Bugger Me Senseless With A Huon Valley Apple Jigger, Snacky Lamb Pie Network and Van Diemen Landlubbing Poetry Society Old Boys.
The FMD group did not rule undertaking some kind of political stunt on polling day to ensure that voters paid attention to the issues that matter. “Yeah, we might sink a few froffy ones around the new fountain thingy and demand the return of Franklin Square to the people of Franklin,” the leader said.
In other news, the Liberal Party has promised 5000 new jobs and growth announcements before the end of the campaign.
Former Employment Minister Eric Abetz said he would be hiring extra staff to make the announcements, “clear proof that we are providing meaningful work for Tasmanians.”
In the case of the government not being returned, the Senator suggested that there may still be ongoing employment. “Well, someone will be needed to man the shredders.”
