Liberal candidate for Denison, Tanya Denison, has denied she is trying too hard with her name to win the seat from incumbent Andrew Wilkie.
“Nothing could be further from the truth,” she said from her home in Denison St, South Hobart, and then again later in the day from her office in Denison St, Kingston.
The mother-of-two, Denise and Denis Jr, claimed she could easily have run under her maiden name, Tanya Bass; her professional name, Tanya Franklin; her Facebook name Tanya Braddon or even her Twitter handle @TanyaLyons. “But in the end I just felt that Tanya Denison was really me,” she gushed.
Her husband Denis said he had always believed in her and had no doubt she was destined to represent the people of Denison. “She’s very adaptable,” he praised, while pausing for a photo opportunity with the family dog Deno and the cat Deonisius. “It’s like watching the movie Zelig, but further up the alphabet and without all the Jewish jokes.”
Denison promised a strengthening of US ties if she were to be elected, particularly with the establishment of a sister city relationship between Hobart and Denison, Texas. In order to relieve pressure on government funds, the relationship would be privatised and handed over to Denison Funds Management of Sydney.
“You know it makes sense,” she said. “I have my best frock ready because, on election night, all eyes will be turning to Denison.”
Meanwhile her twin sister, Bennelong Melbourne, was heartbroken at not receiving Liberal endorsement to run against Greens MP Adam Bandt in the seat of Melbourne nor against sitting MP John Alexander in the seat of Bennelong. “I just don’t understand it,” wailed Denison. “Surely her high school education at Griffith-Swan-Corangamite College, her apprenticeship at La Trobe-Dobell-Chisolm Ltd and her undergraduate studies at Kingsford Smith-Deakin-New England University had well prepared her for any political eventualities in this most marginal election.”
Denison said she remained committed to the cause despite party disappointments, and had not ruled out changing her first name, purely for aesthetic reasons, before 2016. “I’ve always preferred to be called Fuck You Wilkie We Like Pokies In rather than Tanya,” she explained.
Not sent from an iPhone, I just wrote it in the air with my finger.
• Responsibility for election comment is taken by The Editor
