The story so far …
Lara and Greg’Le had headed down the Yellow Brick Road towards the Emerald City under the vista of Projection Bluff some little time ago.
They discovered an ecological disaster as the road had been defiled due to the malfeasance of the Nome King.
Forestry Tasmania … and The Yellow Brick Road
They had sought help from Bryan the Bashful, the favourite pet of Lara, and Will the Tinman, and after due assurance from these substantive individuals walked again towards Projection Bluff in early April
And what did they find?
Substantive silt erosion as evidenced below …
Silt Erosion from Logging Access Road (750 meters long at 860 metres elevation)
More malfeasance by the Nome King’s crafty support staff, nicknamed the “Wheelers”, had turned the Yellow Brick Road in to a Yellow Silt Road.
The Wheelers
Head Wheeler
Unlike the famous Silk Road of Marco Polo this road did not lead to fame, fortune, empire, trade, budget surpluses and massive employment increase, this Silt Road led to the Liffey Valley and the iconic Liffey Falls.
Evidence of the malfeasance was a debilitating experience for Lara as she witnessed the silt drainage from the Yellow Silt Road was heading inexorably in to the Liffey Valley. This despite the flurried efforts of the “Wheelers” after Easter to rehabilitate the Yellow Silt Road verges to prevent such drainage after a stern warning from the neighbour “John the Celt”.
The meagre attempts by the “Wheelers” to hide the malfeasance consisted of even more metal aggregate placement at a direct cost to the people of Tasmania.
Remediation efforts, performed in wet conditions and a clear breach of the FPP!
When advised about this disaster and asked by Lara what to do, her favourite pet Bryan the Bashful shrugged his shoulders, skolled an exotic blue drink, and said the Nome King and his partner in crime, the Head Exchanging Witch Mombi, had told him that all was according to plan and to not be distressed. Bryan the Bashful then promptly went and had a bex and a good lie down and told Lara all would be well, just like the last time!
The Nome King and his partner in crime Mombi the Head Exchanging Witch
Lara was not happy as she remembered the last time that Bryan had skolled that exotic blue drink, and was accordingly not convinced by his confidence, and called in Jack Pumpkinhead (JP) the consultant hydrologist.
Jack Pumpkinhead
Lara imploring for help!
JP was experienced, knew the area intimately, and properly investigated the situation.
After due consideration JP drew the following unequivocal conclusion, viz:-
• It appeared the only solution the Nome King had to prevent drainage in to the Liffey Valley was to effectively place road metal over the entire 40 hectares of the coupe as the “Wheelers” had done to remediate the eroded section of the access road. On the basis of the estimate for the 750 metre metalled access road of circa $100,000 plus, that might cost some many $millions.
This solitary conclusion was drawn based on the ongoing silt drainage still continuing despite the devious remediation efforts of the “Wheelers”.
Continuing silt erosion after the feeble remediation efforts
This conclusion was reinforced by the stark visual representation of the cross section vertical profile of the coup developed by JP based on the Nome King’s own drawings which showed that:-
• The coupe had a maximum elevation of circa 900 metres and a minimum elevation of around 780 metres on the eastern and southern boundaries directly over looking the Liffey Valley/River.
• All drainage points from the coupe ultimately led to the Liffey River at a much lower elevation of circa 500 to 550 metres over a steep escarpment.
• The entirety of the coupe consisted of shallow sandy soil (yellow of course) overlaying a sandstone base. The soil could only go in one direction = downwards.
• JP noted that Professor West in his IVGA Report had unequivocally stated that:- “This is in the Liffey Falls Area……. and FID 108 (coupe BA388D) is forested and drains directly into the TWWHA and would contribute to the integrity of the TWWHA (catchment protection)”
As a result of the above absolute facts, the consultant JP advised Lara that the only possible economic outcome she could pursue was the development of a new tourist attraction – the Yellow Falls of Liffey.
This would likely attract substantive overseas interest and remove entirely the debt burden constraints of the Government being imposed by the ongoing activities of the Nome King. Accordingly the planned $110 million to FT over the next four years, as outlined in the recent Budget, might be directed to health and education!
With great anxiety Lara tried to awaken the slumbering Bryan but unfortunately he could not raise himself up and Lara was not able to consummate her desire for an immediate response/solution.
So what will happen, what can Lara do? Because Greg ‘Le is missing in action, and Will the Tinman is not answering his twitter.
The rain and snow continues as winter is upon us and the silt continues to follow Newton’s Law of Gravity. And as Lara discovered in the early a.m. of Mother’s Day there appears to be a monster prowling the coupe and surrounds as evidenced by the icy footprints.
Devils, monsters or foxes?.
Is it another henchman of the Nome King destined to deliver even more malfeasancing?
An infra-red camera is installed to capture that monster in action, although “John the Celt” says he already has images which have been passed on to Brian le Blanc.
And surprise, Brian le Blanc is not interested. But perhaps it is the track of the mysterious Reynard of OZ …..now that would be worth a few $million I suspect?
Watch this space!
But I do understand that the Nome King is a little angry!
An angry Nome King (but I needed $250 million!)
And it seems that Greg ’Le is seeking more funding from Lara, because if the Nome King can get it for losing taxpayers money, why cannot he?
OMG what will happen next?
Satire based on this original TT article: Forestry Tasmania’s arrogant trashng of Aboriginal and settler history
