Evil truth behind all those blog comments

Most of the people who tell me I have a suspicious mind work for the Chinese secret service. A few for Qantas. And maybe I do, but when a delighted Bulgarian is shown on TV holding up a piece of toast with the face of the Virgin Mary on it, I think you are entitled to ask if it is a legitimate divine visitation or if some Jesus freak at Sofia Electrics Co has taken up the pliers and is bending the elements in the company’s toasters to enhance the Lord’s standing at breakfast.

It’s the same with blogs. Are they the true mood of the people? Or are they the work of PR departments and spin salons comment-spamming the national debate with a forged vox populi?

Clive Dorman recently wrote a piece in The Age based around the anger of passengers at the abandonment of a Qantas 747 flight to Europe.

Not an earth-shattering story, apart from what it showed about blogs. The comments began to flow, and they distilled into two themes. One theme maintained Qantas was a dodgy outfit as crazed as a Ming Dynasty vase. The other that Qantas was the prince of airlines being sabotaged by the media.

The blog became a tete-a-tete between Rottweilers through a chain-link fence.

I got a feeling that in a room somewhere at Qantas HQ, spin flunkeys were in damage control, clacking away at keyboards while a boss bellowed orders: ”Gerry, you’re Forever Grateful of Sydney. You missed your flight to London to see your dying mother. We bumped you up to Business to get you on the next flight. No extra cost. You’re forever grateful. Work on that.

”Melanie, you’re Max of Bondi. Use the tall poppy defence. Milton, your nickname is Still Loyal. You’d rather fly on an airline that had an occasional delay for safety reasons than a crash. Mention Cathay and Singapore. Throw in the term ‘Black Box’.

”Bernice, you’re Matt From Melbourne. Go patriotic, girl. Even New Zealand has its own airline. Without Qantas, we’re lower than Kiwis. Remember, people, grammatical mayhem adds to the authenticity. Being able to spell makes you sound like a greedy elitist. Only spell correctly if you’re talking up our Gold Lounge.”

I envisage a similar scene at Emirates, where a mendacious major-domo works his room of hired liars: ”Quick, dudes, article in the paper. Qantas is ripe for a kicking. Pull out the Doc Martens and limber up.

Read the rest in the SMH HERE:

Anson Cameron is a novelist. His latest book is Stealing Picasso, HERE.

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