OK … so I am pushing 80.
Big deal.
OK. so I take a bunch of pills each morning and if I don’t I will die. So What! OK, my family-given arthritis can stop me from my daily jog of five miles. I should not run that much anyway, not good for your health my five doctors tell me. OK, my dentist just retired and I can’t get another one. That does not matter because I only have five teeth left anyway and I still get nicked for the full cost of having all five cleaned! He is helping me save some money.
What we need is a regiment of oldies who get madder then hell about being told how old we are getting.
We need to be positive.
I have a few ideas concerning being pro-active and not being wallflower oldies waiting for the big black car. First, next time I see a car stealing my parking place and does not have a “Disabled” sign … Actually I can’t do a thing about it.
Complained to one young buck recently and he nearly had me for breakfast.
The next time some young baseball capped 18 year old male shouts at me when I am pushing my wheelie across the street, “Get outta the way you old codger!”, I am going to … well, not much you can do as I yelled at one the other day and he slammed on the brakes and got out of the car and came after me … good thing we have traffic problems in Launceston now!
I think he would have had me for lunch.
Last week another baseball capped goof (this time a female covered with tatoos as far as I could see) tried to knock me off my three wheeled cycle and shouted a curse at me that I have not heard since I cleaned spitoons on the railroad 65 years ago. She had a real dirty mouth.
But, being a mild, kind and easy-going chap I let the above incidents run off my back like slime in a swamp.
What really gets my gut boiling are the messages and cartoons I receive about five times a week by e-mail. They really are not funny as how would one of you young bucks like to dribble not squirt? How many of these tatoo-laden, black shirted, dirty mouthed males like to not be able to kick start their trail bikes? How would these moto males like to be told they have to have a physical exam every year to see if they can still drive their Harleys?
Trouble with being impotent … ability to attack, not the other …is that when you approach agedhood, you have not lost your ability to want some sort of pay-back, you have merely lost your ability!
So! Do not send me any more cartoons about old men/women who have lost their memory, teeth, hair, urges and a number of organs.
If you do, I will hunt you out and get really red-faced … darnit!
