People in bile yellow high visibility jackets…with their implied insult “Are you fucking blind!”

People who drive with their headlights on in the day…with their implied insult “Are you fucking blind!”

People who think that I want to see their tattoos…especially when they adorn their arse just above their bum crack

Pretentious photographers who call their pictures “images”

Fruit with labels

Short men wearing long chisel toed beige shoes

People who give their children names with peculiar spellings

People who think that their three year old offspring’s head is the place to demonstrate their predilection for a mullet…or a buzz cut and a skinny plait. These kids usually have names with peculiar spellings

Men who wear sunglasses as a hair band

Men with no hair who wear sunglasses as a head band

Door-knocking Christians, touting their particular collection of fairy tales

Christmas displays that go up in October and “Easter buns” on sale on January 1st

Serving staff who when asked for something say, “Not a problem”.

Politicians who say “Going forward”…as if there was some sort of Dr Who time-travelling choice

Politicians generally and collectively

Women in pubs at Christmas-time who clog up bar service by ordering rounds of complicated highly coloured drinks

Men in pubs at Christmas time ordering rounds of complicated highly coloured drinks for women who only go into pubs on Christmas Eve

Un-athletic people who want to talk/watch sport and assume there’s something wrong with you for not wanting to do the same

Visual artists who preface their work with 2,000 word manifestoes written in “artspeak”

People who make lists of things that piss them off.

Rob Walls: http://robertwalls.wordpress.com/