BEN QUIN
I am astounded!
Mr. Rudd, together with his economic conservative social democrat Keynesian socialist colleagues (ECSDKS, or Exdiks for easy pronunciation), has developed a perpetual motion machine.
There has been no grand announcement yet – and I can understand the need for absolute secrecy about the matter until the patents are secured – but close reading of the budget papers makes it clear that the Exdiks have finally made the breakthrough that for so long has been considered the preserve of lunatics and mystics.
The cyclical self-correction valve (or CSCV) seems to be at the heart of the invention. Based on a previously unknown principle in physics, the CSCV turns negative numbers into positive numbers. With the development of this device, the Exdiks can now fabricate policy to hold back the tides, make up the water shortage in the Murray Darling Basin and the North American Great Plains, run the world on renewable energy and spend our way out of debt.
Just in time too. As the world plummets headlong towards a climate, energy and water crisis, brought on by previous generations’ failure to grasp the principles of perpetual motion, Mr. Rudd’s breakthrough will provide a much needed boost for the Copenhagen climate conference in December this year.
The conference might otherwise have become bogged down in the rather unsexy discussion of whether we are simply living above our means.
Ben Quin
Triabunna
