Wrestling with the One-Armed Bandit

An Insider’s view

Alarm bells were now ringing loudly, but they made as much difference as those on the Titanic after it had hit the iceberg, it was too late as the damage had been done and the women at the wheel was in total denial about the impending disaster.

SITTING here fiddling with my keyring I am at a loss as to where to begin the story about my vicarious battle with the pokies. Two of the keys on the ring are indicative of the ongoing five-year battle, my ex-spouse’s house and car keys, and seem as good place to start as any.

These two keys represent what was once, for many,the foundation of the quintessential Australian dream; owning a nice house and car. Christine, not her real name, had both these things thanks to a quirk of fate and good fortune without owing a cent on either. In addition Christine had a good job and a steady income, but unbeknown to me she was in the process of being sucked into the bottomless abyss that is compulsive gambling.

I am still wracked with guilt as to how did this occur and could I have done anything?

It seemed innocuous enough to start with; borrowing a few dollars here, forgetting to pay a bill there, in addition her new job was keeping her back late a couple of nights per week.

Given this situation it was understandable when she told me that she was taking out a $50,000 loan to renovate her house. It made sense to me, she was a smart woman and should know what she was doing.

The situation continued on like this for a few months until things like demands for unpaid rates and insurance started to arrive on a semi-frequent basis.

”Don’t worry about that, it’s a mistake as I sent them a cheque the other day,” Christine would explain.

Stream of unpaid bills

Not long after this there were more signs, although I failed to realise at the time, The loan was extended to $70,000, even though there were negligible signs of renovation at her home.

The regular stream of unpaid bills slowly started to accelerate into a torrent of demand notices, with no logical explanation apart from the usual ‘it’s a mistake’ spin.

I confronted her and she denied having a gambling problem and cleverly turned the situation back on me as I didn’t trust her and wasn’t pulling my financial weight.

Around this time I had to relocate for work allowing Christine’s activities to go completely unchecked.

Friends started informing me that they had lent her money, ‘as she had been caught short,’ and that they were now concerned.

Alarm bells were ringing loudly

Christine became increasingly introverted and defensive when questioned about anything.

Alarm bells were now ringing loudly, but they made as much difference as those on the Titanic after it had hit the iceberg, it was too late as the damage had been done and the women at the wheel was in total denial about the impending disaster.

Nearly all of the $70,000 loan was gone, in addition the home, contents and vehicular insurance was void because it hadn’t been paid, including that on my own car, and had been for months.

Furthermore, Christine had emptied the account of a local club where she was treasurer after forging the signature of another committee member.

Why am I telling TT readers all of this, well the simple answer is that I hope that this cautionary tale may help somebody else spot the signs before it’s too late.

I don’t write this out of malice or revenge as I view gambling as a disease that can be treated, but the difficult part is that the victim has to recognise it.

Often they have to hit rock-bottom first and that hasn’t occurred yet in Christine’s situation.

I promise to keep TT abreast the final outcome, but I sadly believe that it’s going to be all too predictable.

These two keys are silent witnesses to Christine’s illness, I just hope she will recognise her problem before they become useless trinkets jingling in mute testimony to what could of been.