If you’ve written to the Tasmanian Minister for Business, Industry and Resources about the proposed stadium at Macquarie Point, chances are you’ve received a response that is similar, likely very similar to the one that follows.
Several Tasmanians have reported receiving these (dis)missives in reply to an email to EricA, and despite the differences in the writers’ concerns, the replies bear a remarkable consistency. It’s almost as if they’ve been copied and pasted from the same proforma . . . 🤔
Under his eye (sorry) letterhead…..
Tasmanian Government
15 April 2025
What he says: Thank you for your email of 4 April 2025 regarding the Multipurpose Stadium at Macquarie Point to myself (sic) and other members of Parliament. As the Minister with portfolio responsibility for Macquarie Point, I am pleased to provide you with a response on behalf of the Government.
What he really thinks: I wish you people would stop sending all these annoying emails about this bloody stadium at Macquarie Point, which I was against from the outset, but now that his Lordship Premier (not-for-much-longer-if-I-have-anything-to-say-about-it) Rockliff has palmed it off on me in a feeble attempt to hobble my ambitions, I have to defend it with all the bullheadedness I can muster. . . and pretend I enjoy doing so.
What he says: The construction of the Multipurpose Stadium at Macquarie Point is a significant infrastructure investment, which the Government believes will bring long-lasting benefits and opportunities for the Tasmanian community.
What he really thinks: We all know the construction of a truly Multipurpose Stadium at Macquarie Point is an impossible task and a complete waste of money, and I don’t really believe it will bring any-lasting benefits or opportunities for the Tasmanian community because we can’t find any consultants who are willing to put their name on a positive CBA no matter how optimistic a scenario they manage to confect. And in the absence of that, no sensible business is willing to put their hard-earneds on the line to add to our begging bowl. I know this because I’m in charge of the ‘Market Sounding’ process, and….well….the less said about that, the better!
What he says: Macquarie Point was strategically chosen as the preferred location for the Multipurpose Stadium due to its location adjacent to the central business district and surrounding businesses and experiences, its accessibility and the facility’s potential to be part of an activated and vibrant mixed-use precinct.
What he really thinks: Coffee guffaw! “Strategically chosen”?? pardon me while I mop up my tie…who wrote this crap? Nothing strategic about it. It’s not even the preferred location from that shonky site selection conducted way back in 2022. It’s the worst possible location for such a building. It will burden the city with a dead heart and a dark and windy wasteland that lies unused for 96% of the time, and then causes bedlam for the remaining 4%.
I know that plonking a stadium in the middle of such a compromised site means access is restricted, leaving little room for anything else, but I’ll keep on with the fantasy of vibrancy and a mixed-use precinct . . . better just keep it to ‘potential’ for now though. No promises.
What he says: As you may be aware, the development of a Stadium at Macquarie Point has received bipartisan support, securing funding from both the State Liberal Government and the Federal Labor Government. Since the last State election, State Labor have also changed their policy position to one of support for the Stadium’s development.
What he really thinks: Let’s pretend everyone’s completely on board so that you’ll just give up now and throw in the towel. I’m hoping you don’t notice that the Federal grant of $240 was quite clearly directed to the whole precinct, primarily for housing (note to self: check whether the MPDC is finally working on a plan to make it look like they’re building some housing in the vicinity……is there any room left in the vicinity? Check that too.)
I’m also hoping you all forget that as a Senator for Tasmania in 2023 my colleague Jonathon Duniam and I castigated Tasmanian Labor senators for not being as clear in their opposition to a stadium as we were.
(note to self: see if we can get that reference in Hansard protected as commercial-in-confidence.) And I can’t afford to let you think we know that Tas Labor are only supporting A stadium development because they want their pet project from Dean Winter’s mentor Paul Lennon to be the fall-back position.
What he says: The Government is focused on ensuring that the Stadium can be delivered successfully and in accordance with the timeframes set out under the State’s historic agreement with the AFL. The AFL has been clear that a stadium at Macquarie Point is essential to ensuring that the Tasmania Devils Football Club is competitive both on and off the field in the AFL and AFLW.
What he really thinks: The government is desperate to avoid acknowledging that the stadium cannot be delivered successfully nor in accordance with the timeframes set out in that dumb deal our hapless fanboy premier signed with the big bully boys at the AFL, sooo, we have to conflate the stadium with the team to make you believe that the state’s “historic agreement” means that the Devils are threatened. It’s certainly “historic” – historically bad. Seriously, if his Lordship Premier (not-for-much-longer-if-I-have-anything-to-say-about-it) Rockliff had shown this contract to anyone with half an ounce of nous or legal awareness, or spatial intelligence, they wouldn’t have gone near it with a ten-foot barge pole.
What he says: The Government commissioned the independent review of the Stadium at the request of the Jacquie (sic) Lambie Network (JLN), with Dr Gruen being the consultant selected by the JLN to undertake the work. As has now become apparent, Dr Gruen was meeting with anti-stadium advocates, and anti-stadium advocates only, prior to his appointment and this has raised genuine concerns regarding an apprehension of bias.
What he really thinks: What a lucky break! (note to self: remember to thank Chris Rowbottom). Signing up the JLN so we could govern in minority meant we had to submit to doing anything they wanted. In the words of my old mate Tony Abbott, “whatever it takes!” JR couldn’t afford to have his past indiscretions go before the PAC – that was why he called an early election in the first place – so he agreed to independent reviews by Eslake and Gruen. I have to admit, we took our eye off the ball but thank goodness our pet ABC journo was scrounging around for a story and noticed that Dr Gruen updated his interview list three weeks after tabling his review and Rowbottom noticed that he interviewed some Tasmanians on the same day as he was commissioned by the JLN. Luckily for us, our customary lack of alacrity when dealing with anything in government meant that we didn’t get around to signing his formal appointment for a few weeks, so we can weaponise this time delay and use it to cancel every other finding in the Gruen Review. It’s just a shame we didn’t notice it earlier, like before all the damaging revelations that made our MPDC look like a bunch of gullible hicks.
What he says: The Tasmanian Planning Commission’s Draft Integrated Assessment Report into the Stadium relies heavily on Dr Gruen’s report and therefore is tainted with the same apprehension of bias. As has been noted by the Macquarie Point Development Corporate (sic) and its legal and planning experts, the Tasmanian Planning Commission’s report contains errors of law, is argumentative, lacks balance, and relies on untested material.
What he really thinks: The Tasmanian Planning Commission’s Draft Integrated Assessment Report (DIAR) into the Stadium references Dr Gruen’s Review in its assessment of costs and benefits, therefore, even though no substantive case has been made to dismiss Gruen’s economic analysis, I realise there are no reasons at all to disregard the rest of the DIAR particularly where they concern physical planning, but we’ll besmirch the panel’s reputation and misuse as many legal principles as we can to avoid the inconvenient truths that this assessment exposes.
As a lawyer, I know that I’m using the term ‘apprehension of bias’ incorrectly, but it sounds so good that most people won’t notice and really, now that the direct accusations against Gruen have been made with the benefit of parliamentary privilege, I should be safe in repeating them outside it.
I realise that accusations from the MPDC and its legal and planning experts, against the Tasmanian Planning Commission’s report have not been tested in Law and remain just that: accusations.
What he says: As a result of these issues, it is appropriate that the Government seeks advice on alternative approval pathways for the project. Ultimately, the decision on whether the Stadium project will proceed will be made by the Tasmanian Parliament.
What he really thinks: As a result of all the cockups and the abysmal way this whole sorry saga has evolved, we’re now desperate to find some process that won’t further expose our perfidy. Also, it’s entirely consistent with our policy of kicking stuff down the road and hoping that some other distraction emerges in the meantime. While we have a compliant Opposition, we plan to make the most of it.
What he says: While the approval process continues, the Macquarie Point Development Corporation is finalising the Stadium design and preparing the site for construction. However, no construction activity would be able to commence on site until after planning approval is provided.
What he really thinks: We know we’re on a hiding to nothing when people start interrogating the forensic analysis conducted by the TPC. From a planning perspective, the problems it has raised in its draft assessment report cannot be solved because Macquarie Point was always the wrong location, and we can’t just manufacture space where there isn’t any…or can we?? (Note to self: see if the TARDIS engineers are available for a consult). Anyway, this should muddy the waters enough to cast doubt over the whole planning process and discourage all those busybody Tasmanians who think they have a right to say how their money is spent, and which services should take precedence over a sports venue, from making a submission to the TPC. The fewer submissions, the better, just in case we can’t get this enabling legislation through the Upper House and have to revert to the PoSS. We really don’t want a whole lot of other concerns that we hadn’t thought of, being thrown up by the citizenry, so we’ll try to win this thing by playing politics, rather than any attempt at good governance.
What he says: The Multipurpose Stadium presents an exciting opportunity for Tasmania and Tasmanians. While it is an important contributor to the state receiving a licence to compete in the AFL and AFLW competitions, the opportunities it presents are much broader. These include offering unique function and events spaces for business and corporation events, cultural and community events and a broad range of concerts, sporting codes and exhibitions.
What he really thinks: Time for some more spin about the ‘multipurpose’ stadium because we know the stadium won’t stack up on its own, so we’ve tacked a function centre onto the side, and now we can attribute any potential income from that to the stadium.
I’m just hoping no-one notices that if we built a function centre on-site without a stadium, we’d create a more attractive venue and make a lot more profit, so I’ll throw in words like exciting, important, unique to gee up the plebs, even though it’s not exciting, at least not in a good way, and there’s nothing unique about function and events spaces.
What he says: It is important to also note the Multipurpose Stadium will be one part of the broader mixed-use precinct at Macquarie Point that will be transformative for Hobart, creating new jobs through economic activity. The area has been an industrial wasteland for far too long and its transformation into an iconic gateway for our capital city will be an aesthetic, cultural and economic fillip for Hobart.
What he really thinks: Let’s finish with another reference to the fantasy of a stadium forming part of a mixed-use precinct that will create jobs and transform a wasteland. Tell a story and tell it often, and eventually someone will believe it, even though there is no evidence for it. I’m hoping you haven’t considered that almost any other use of Mac Point would achieve the same, if not better, outcomes and I’ll roll out the big words like iconic, aesthetic, cultural and fillip as if they’re not value free terms, ignoring the fact that aesthetic can mean brutal just as easily as it might mean beautiful, cultural can be low just as easily as it can be high, and an economic fillip can land in any pocket, not necessarily in those who paid, and boost many activities, not all of them positive or good for the community.
What he says: You can find more information about the Mac Point Precinct Plan at: www.macpoint.com/precinct
What he’s really doing: Adding insult to injury, as if anyone who bothers to send him an email about the stadium hasn’t seen the MPDC proposal – but don’t bother trying, the link is faulty – “404: we can’t find this page!”
What he says: Thank you for your interest in this important project and I trust this information is of assistance.
What he really means: Yeah. Nah. I hope I’ve successfully bombarded you with enough verbiage to make you go away.
Yours sincerely (no, really, I mean every word I’ve said)
(Signed) E Abetz
Minister for Business, Industry and Resources (and Premier hopeful)
“Next!” Press ‘copy’ – ‘paste’ – ‘send’; ‘copy’ – ‘paste’ – ‘send’ – ‘copy’ – ‘paste’ – ‘send’ 🥱
Miss Facetious is a resident of Hobart, and knows what you’re thinking.
Featured image above ‘Unwanted Financial Obligation coming soon’ courtesy Mousehammer.
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