Letters to my grandchildren (13)

Dear Chilliwops,

There is a sign on some of the buses in our Australian cities that reads, “Choose Respect.” To me that is a pretty obvious thing to do so why is it advertised? The reason is simple – so many people today simply don’t get it.

The word “respect” originated in the Old French language in the late 1800s and possibly earlier in the English language dating back to about 1100. It is an old word with a big meaning. In fact the word has a number of meanings and uses, both as a noun and a verb. The sign “Choose Respect” refers to proper acceptance or courtesy or acknowledgement of others.

I would have thought it common sense to show respect but clearly others in our society deem it necessary to remind people we have a choice with the use of the word “choose” attached to “respect.” To me there is no choice when it comes to respect. It should be natural.

When I was a boy of about ten years my Pop told me to “show respect by standing when a lady enters the room.” It is very unusual to see this in 2016. The point of telling you that is to demonstrate that it may be a concept we are taught on occasions but there are some people, or groups of people, we should not have any second thoughts about. I shall give you some examples.

On occasions when I have travelled overseas I have been in the company of business leaders from other countries and have also had the pleasure of meeting with politicians from those countries. I have observed how much respect has been shown to the community leaders by all present and by the media.

Sadly, this doesn’t appear to be the case in Australia. In my view our political leaders, no matter what their political persuasion, deserve to be treated with respect. One might have strongly held different views from a politician, expressing those views in a variety of ways, and we may not even like him or her as a person but we should nevertheless respect them for the position they hold.

How can we expect to attract the best people into those important positions if we treat them with disdain? So often I hear the comment “I could do a better job.” I am sure at times we all think that way but my response to that is, “Well don’t just talk about it, have a go.”

We are fortunate we live in a society that permits and protects freedom of thought, speech and, within the constraints of the law, social morés and values, freedom of action. That means we can vehemently and publically oppose the views of a Member of Parliament but we should never become personal in expressing those views. Attack the policies; try to dissuade them from taking a particular direction but show respect for the position they hold.

Most importantly, don’t allow others to brand all politicians with generalisations. Adopt this line: “If you think you can do better there is nothing stopping you from having a go.”

Hundreds of people in our community who help deliver essential services such as police officers deserve respect. Many work in difficult circumstances, even placing themselves at risk from time to time in order to protect our community.

Police officers spend many months undertaking rigorous training and after graduating they are often called upon to deal with potentially traumatic situations. Young, inexperienced officers thrust straight into the front line of policing.

Too often I have heard people call police officers rude names or criticize them for doing their job. I have even heard people abuse a police officer for being caught speeding or drink driving. Can you believe that? (As an aside, I have heard the same people yell abuse at a judge – now that is pretty stupid don’t you think?)

Imagine how difficult it must be to attend a fatal motor vehicle accident or be the person required to break the sad news of a fatality to the next of kin. Imagine having to deal with a drug-affected, aggressive person in an attempt to protect that person from himself or herself. Imagine facing a gun-wielding burglar, chasing a getaway car at breakneck speed, or chasing a potentially violent criminal on foot. Such people deserve our respect. There is no choice.

From time to time we might be stopped at a random breath test, commonly known as a “booze bus”, to determine any level of alcohol and one’s fitness to drive. Whenever I have been stopped I make a particular point of thanking the Police Officers for doing their job and keeping our roads safe. When you eventually drive I hope you will do the same. Rewarding them with praise and a mark of respect will make their day.

Respect your elders and by that I obviously also mean your parents. Not long ago a much younger relative of ours whose name I shall not reveal, yelled at me to “Shut up!” whilst I was involved in some regular fun banter with another family member. The occasion was lunch in a large and crowded restaurant. Many people turned to gaze at our table in surprise.

Nobody was more surprised than me, however, but I did not respond immediately. At the end of lunch I quietly told the gathering that I had never been spoken to like that before and certainly do not expect to be addressed in that manner by someone many years my junior. Harsh? I don’t think so.

I don’t think it is harsh or old-fashioned to expect young people to respect their elders. That respect goes to being polite in your language and not interrupting a conversation. Of course you are entitled to an opinion and to disagree but don’t interrupt, saying your piece when the opportunity arises.

Whilst on the subject of respecting your elders, it disturbs me to see a child occupying a seat on public transport whilst elderly people stand. Clearly their parents haven’t taught or been taught good manners. Giving up your seat on public transport for an older person should be automatic. Again, there is no choice.

Returning to our community leaders, too often I read or hear negative stereotypical comments about politicians, police officers and others. Some may deserve it but not all are the same. It’s like saying all school-kids are the same; all teachers are the same. We know that’s not correct so why do we stereotype.

Until next time.

Love always,
Your popple.

*Anton Clever is well into his seventh decade … a former teacher, soldier, farm hand, lawyer and businessman (not in that order). He has travelled extensively for business and for international clients. More recently he has started writing … currently a thriller (which will probably not be worthy of publication, he says) and has written but not published a series of “postcards” from various places (specifically, Victoria, Papua New Guinea, France, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, Iran) referring to experiences in those places. He has also written for several magazines on unusual subjects but matters worthy of debate.