Slowly, slowly back to normal service … To Rache and Trav …

The Wedding ( Here ) was wondrous. And we are slowly catching up on the hiatus in posting MRs, Arts events/Plate/Grape/Travel etc. Bear with us. Meanwhile … indulge an old man … Speech, Rache ‘n Trav’s Wedding, Saturday November 29, East Coast …

I would like on behalf of the bride’s mother, Susan, myself and Travers’ Mum ‘n Dad Tim and Jan – again – to give the warmest welcome to all the relatives and friends who have joined us to celebrate this conjoining of such wondrous equals. Many of you have travelled offshore; even from Hobart.

Thank you – again – all for coming to help celebrate this very, very special day. I want to tell you a story … a wondrous story from deep within the bowels of history.

It is the Ancient Story of Damocles … for there are wondrous Lessons for Newlyweds therein …

A little background first … I have an absolutely dreadful history in relation to speeches in honour of our children’s milestones. It seems the off-the-cuff speeches – which have generally been delivered rather late in the celebratory evenings – have been notable for their narcissistic, rambling, irrelevant and sometimes embarrassing content.

I would not know; I have little recollection of any of them …

When the eldest, Richard turned 30, I foreswore bubbles until the speech had been delivered.

I talked then about The Sword of Damocles and as it is the only successful speech ever delivered for the children’s milestones, I plan to use it as template for today.

Context is everything … so I had better first – ever so briefly – detail the story of the Sword and the aforementioned Moral lessons for Newlyweds that it may contain.

The Damocles of this anecdote was an obsessively servile courtier in the court of Dionysius The Second of Syracuse. This all happened in the 4th century Before Christ … 2400 or so years ago.

Syracuse, where Dionysius ruled, was an historic city in Sicily in southern Italy. The city is notable for its rich Greek history, culture, amphitheatres, architecture, and as the birthplace of the pre-eminent mathematician and engineer Archimedes. This near 3000-year-old city played a key role in ancient times, when it was one of the major powers of the Mediterranean world.

Damocles the obsessively servile, declared that, as a great man of power and authority, Dionysius 11 was truly fortunate.

So, Dionysius offered to switch places with him for a day, so he could taste first-hand that good fortune.

In the evening a banquet was held where Damocles very much enjoyed being waited upon like a King.

Only at the end of the meal did he look up and notice a sharpened sword hanging directly above his head by a Single Horse Hair.

Immediately, he lost all taste for the sumptuous feast and asked leave of the Ruler Dionysius 11 … saying he no longer wanted to be so fortunate.

Dionysius had successfully conveyed a sense of the constant fear in which The Great Man may live. Subsequently the great Roman philosopher Cicero asked, “Does not Dionysius seem to have made it sufficiently clear that there can be nothing happy for the person over whom some fear always looms?”

But there is another lesson, first drawn out by Cicero and this is especially for newlyweds … and it is that Virtue is sufficient for living a happy life.

“Virtue is sufficient for living a happy life.” I would actually rephrase that to say: Virtue is sufficient for living a joyful life; because happiness is too captive to the spirit of the age; and modern Oz is very materialistic …

A joyful life … the perfect segue to these guys …

Rachael Tuffin and Travers …

It is an immense joy to Sue and to me that these guys have found each other. It is an immeasurable joy.

In honour of Trav’s 30th earlier this year – at a wonderful dinner near Sawmill settlement en-route to Buller – Trav’s mum Jan who calls Trav Travi – said: “Travi is our Quiet Achiever.” Tim and Jan are so very obviously so proud of their kids Jade and Trav.

Trav is a Quiet Achiever; it is a joy to know this young man.

For the Muffins of Howrah Flats, Hobart, Rachi is our Vibrant Creative Force; her being constantly infused with creativity in all its forms. And fun! She makes life joyful!

Quiet Achiever meets Vibrant Creative Force.

Irresistible.

This truly is a conjoining of equals. But at its heart lies mystery, I believe …

Charles Dickens wrote in A Tale of Two Cities:

“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”

What a beautiful quote … it is saying that there is so much complexity in one single human being that it takes a lifetime to BEGIN to understand another. Which is probably another decent reason to mate for life … I know that after some 37 years together Sue Tuffin is still a profound mystery to me …

I’ve long believed that at the end of life lie two things: Love and Paradox.

In life you can choose different roads … roads to disappointment, bitterness and defeat … or perhaps the road less travelled … to Love …

Paradox is a compliment to love … a paradox is a statement that apparently contradicts itself and yet might be true. A paradoxical outcome is that which you perhaps least expect.

Expect lots of that in your lives, guyzzzzz.

Aren’t they stunning these two, together. Don’t they look soooo beautiful. But more important than that is that You get one another …

What does it mean to “get another person”. I reckon, for what it is worth that it includes the acceptance of your partner just as he or she is. Not as you wish them to be, not as you anticipate, or wish to make them. But simply as they are, warts and all; successes and failures (particularly failures I reckon which can be the most instructive of all) … and endless, endless forgiveness.

The most powerful words in the English language I reckon are not, I love You … but: I forgive you!

There is in Rache n Trav that mysterious meeting of fundamentally like-minded souls … how good is that … ?

The only other bit of advice for what it’s worth is to remain absolutely true to yourself. As Shakespeare put into the mouth of Polonius:

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.“

If you are true to yourself you cannot be false to anyone … In a relationship if you truly constantly say what you genuinely feel; you won’t end up being fake or false, lying or whatever …

One more quote, this from German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche:

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. No price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself.”

In other words guyzzzzzzzz … family expectations can be immense. Forget that. Be true to yourselves … be true to one another …

My brother Cedders – who was Father of the Bride in Pommieland a little over a month ago – tells me there are four areas to cover in Father of the Bride speeches.

Firstly……………. To welcome everyone to this wondrous occasion, Tick

Then ……………….To say a few words about the bride and new son-in-law … bit of a tick; I hope there has been some sense in which our overwhelming joy at this union is apparent.

Thirdly…………… To give some words of advice to the happy couple… bit of a tick

And, finally To give the first of the toasts. Now this I am good at …

And What a joy it is: To Rache n Trav … !x