It’s OK to love yourself

The most commonly used test for narcissism is the Narcissistic Personality Inventory. It’s seen as the benchmark that determines whether or not an individual is a narcissist. It comprises seven core characteristics: authority, self-sufficiency, superiority, exhibitionism, vanity, exploitativeness, and entitlement.

With the exception of exploitativeness, which is probably what differentiates narcissism from self-esteem, many of us (maybe even most of us?) would possess one or more of those characteristics to some extent.

Sometimes they dominate an entire demographic. Authority is present in many leaders; self-sufficiency in entrepreneurs; superiority in the wealthy; exhibitionism in pretty much everyone on Facebook; vanity in the attractive; and entitlement in Gen Y.

You can often see all seven factors in politicians – usually with great success. Earlier this year, researchers at Emory University analysed the performance of 42 American presidents. They discovered those who were narcissistic were coincidentally more persuasive, better at leading the nation through a crisis, and more effective from a legislative perspective.

It’s true, too, and somewhat unsurprising, that they were also more inclined to be unlawful. But it could be that the narcissism that propels their performance also influences the public to be more forgiving. Either way, they win.

It’s not just politicians. Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud famously posited that narcissism is a natural human trait residing in everyone to a certain degree. He even deemed it an essential form of self-love. Before we can love others, we must first love ourselves, that kind of thing.

A glance at most people’s online profiles (especially Instagram, arguably the most narcissistic social media platform of them all) emphasises this point 100 years after Freud made it.

These days, an experience has not been experienced unless it’s posted somewhere ostentatiously for all to see. It’s gaudy self-love, a desperate cry for attention among fake friends. Anyone, really, who rails against narcissists should examine themselves online. They’ll notice they have much in common with those they deride, particularly the element of exhibitionism.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/small-business/managing/blogs/work-in-progress/its-ok-to-love-yourself-20131107-2x4sf.html#ixzz2jzgFrZuL

James Adonis is one of Australia’s best-known people-management thinkers