Missing … Essentially!

TASMANIA featured prominently in the House of Representatives’ Question Time yesterday when the Member for Braddon Mark Baker rose to ask a Dorothy Dixer of Education Minister Brendan Nelson.

Nothing wrong with Baker’s question — he just wanted to know about his Government’s plans to ensure plain language report cards are introduced to Australian schools (although maybe he should pay more attention in party room meetings).

It was Dr Nelson’s answer, however, that put Tasmania directly under the spotlight.

“I thank the member for Braddon for his question and his commitment to plain speaking for the people of Braddon,” Nelson quipped.

He then went on to explain his grand plan for Australian students.

“From next year, schools, whatever method they use, will report A, B, C, D or E. In addition to that, the schools will be required to tell parents where their child is going in relation to the rest of the class,” he said.

“I am pleased to inform the House that the states of New South Wales, Western Australia and Tasmania have agreed to that.”

And then…

“The sort of nonsense that we are having to deal with, which the member for Braddon and Bass know only too well, is reflected in what the Tasmanian Department of Education is doing with a thing called ‘Essential Learnings’.

“In fact, when I discussed ‘Essential Learnings’ with the Tasmanian Minister for Education a few weeks ago I said, ‘Do you mean “subjects”?’

“For example, parents are being told whether their child is being literate, and I actually had to say to the minister, ‘Do you mean reading and writing?’.”

Dr Nelson continued:

“The Tasmanian Department of Education have produced a jargon buster to actually explain to parents want their jargon means (much laughter in the chamber).

“One of their jargons that they want to put on school reports is called a ‘concept plan’. The jargon buster, in part, says that a concept plan:

… illustrates concepts and the relationships between them. The links are indicated by words that specify the relationship between two or more concepts.

“What on earth does that mean to the average parent?” Nelson asked.

Raucous laughter

“There would not be a member of this House that would understand that. Hang on, I suspect there is one member of the House who does understand that kind of language because he speaks it every day — the Leader of the Opposition.”

Amid the raucous laughter from the increasingly cocky members on the Government’s side of the chamber, an interjection from Labor’s Lyons MHR Dick Adams went largely unnoticed.

For all of Nelson’s talking up his two Liberal MHRs from Tasmania and how important plain language was to Bass and Braddon, big Dick called out “Where is the Member for Bass?”

Michael Ferguson wasn’t in the chamber while a senior minister was talking up his electorate — leaving the member sitting next to his empty seat shrugging off the question of Ferguson’s whereabouts.

Not a good look.

Perhaps young Fergie was still recovering from Tuesday’s effort when he dared to rise to his feet while Opposition Leader Kim Beazley was talking — and raise a point of order.

“Ouch!” called out the Opposition benches in unison at the schoolboy attempt to embarrass Beazley.

Even the Speaker told Fergie to sit down and let the Opposition Leader get on with it.

You don’t get much plainer language than that.

Chris Johnson is a federal political reporter for The West Australian newspaper.