Heaven … with Tony and Eric …

Perhaps the most compelling reason why I am not attracted to Christianity is the prospect of sharing heaven with Tony Abbott and Eric Abetz.

I have nothing against either but I feel our conversation may run dry fairly quickly leaving us aloof and on a nodding acquaintance for the rest of eternity.

Our relationship may also become somewhat tenuous when Tony makes a leadership challenge against Jesus and his cabinet.

It’s in Tony’s DNA and as Jesus sits comfortably in the ‘liberal’ factions of the Liberal Party they are natural foes. But he has been Leader for a long time with no new policies for the last two millennia and his economic credentials are dubious.

Tony, with Eric as his favourite disciple, may have a real chance. They complement each other well; Eric can keep Tony sober and awake for important votes and Tony can counter Eric’s charisma.

Imagine Tony and Eric taking cloud stops with a gaggle of angels nodding and flapping their wings in the background while they front the celestial media. Just like being back on Earth. It doesn’t bear thinking about!

So for me, as an after-life consumer, my preference is the other place. Hot it may be but ever so free from the tedium of ego and visionless ambition.
Dr Ian Broinowski