Reviewed! Seminar … and The Black Rose …

How do you prove you’re good at something, without being a bit of a whore about it?

As Loud Mouth’s Seminar opened with its grating, wanky, opening drivel about “inner turmoil” and “externality” in fiction from Zachary Lennon’s character Douglas, I squirmed about in my seat. It was really pretty wanky stuff, and quite frankly I was embarrassed. Half of me was terribly fearful that I had booked myself in for two hours in the front row of a boring, wanky play where the self-aggrandising characters did little apart from disappear up their arses the whole time.

But I was experiencing something else too, another kind of discomfort. As someone who fancies themselves a writer, I was, well, a little ashamed of all the times I had spouted that kind of wanky crap in an attempt to sound intellectual. Oh yes, there have been many times I have done just that. And I’m sure (well, I hope) that I’m not alone in that regard.

Seminar is a Broadway play by Theresa Rebeck, which has found a very comfortable home in the newly-revitalised Moonah Arts Centre for the coming few weeks. It focuses on four young writers – Martin, Douglas, Kate and Izzy – and their brilliant but utterly offensive lecturer Leonard. They’ve all paid a small fortune to attend his seminars – easy for students like the “rich”, “overly-educated” Kate, with her own Upper West Side apartment in New York – but tricky for the fearful and financially downtrodden Martin.

It’s unbelievably witty and funny (don’t worry – it certainly isn’t a boring or wanky play by any stretch) and it covers a huge spectrum of issues writers face – jealousy, competitiveness, pride, male dominance, artistic futility – and the awareness that even if you’re ridiculously brilliant and create a literary masterpiece, you’re not going to end up as the next Salman Rushdie. In fact, you’ll most likely end up marking papers for snotty, rich kids who are “not without talent” at university writing courses.

Seminar skilfully addresses issues like talent and when it matters and doesn’t matter. It showcases the fact that brilliant people will often be left behind because of lack of wealth or a family name, while mediocre people will use sex or their connections to rise to the glitzy but utterly meaningless heights of mainstream pop culture.

Leonard nails the issue perfectly with Douglas. “You’re a name dropper, you’re a whore,” he says as he reads his work. “It’s perfect – in a whoreish kind of way.” It’s a pearler of a reminder for anyone involved in the arts – that being a wanker or a bit of a whore is not the road to excellence. It can get you far – and even make you a lot of money – but there will always be those who will know your fraudulence.

This play is superbly acted; in particular Jeff Keough’s performance as the exceptional but vitriolic and student-shagging Leonard is nothing short of sublime. And supporting actors Lennon, Jessica Davies, Bryony Geeves and Robert Maxwell really do the work justice.

Locating this excellent play at the redeveloped Moonah Arts Centre is a real coup for all of us who hail from “north of the flannel curtain”, such as yours truly. How wonderful to see theatre as good as anything you’d find in Melbourne or Sydney around the corner from your mum’s house.

Go and see this play. It’s really bloody good. And if you’re a wanky writer like me, book your tickets today.

And reviewed here by Richard Butler …

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Amber Wilson