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In 1983 the late, great humourist and Douglas Adams, together with the humourist and script-writer John Lloyd, CBE published a book called ‘The Meaning of Liff’ in which the names of British cities and towns were given complex and humorous meanings for which there is no single word in the English language.

Times move on and our world constantly throws up new complex and intriguing phenomena, some good, some ‘not so much’. In light of this fact, an Australian humourist, who wishes to remain anonymous, has generated a similar work dedicated to people of goodwill and good humour who live in Tasmania under its unique and often puzzling and frustrating system of government and official patronage.

This person hopes that the work may enlighten and enrich their lives. The author invites readers to submit additional new words to what he hopes will become a collaborative work of art on Tasmanian Times, in which all men and women of goodwill can participate and enjoy. While obviously of direct relevance to Tasmania, new words submitted with their definitions should also be as broadly applicable to life outside Tasmania as possible. Submissions can be made through Comments below, or by sending to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) who will act as moderator and judge of merit for inclusion.

The Meaning of Vandielaff

WordWord typeMeaningDerivation
AaaffluentnounIndustrial wastewater that is harmless to the environment, or (figuratively) something that does not exist in the real world, such as rocking horse dung.From effluent with a ‘triple A’ rating.
AaffluentnounIndustrial wastewater that does not quite meet the criteria for aaafluent.See aaafluent.
AbeltasmanizeVerb, transitiveTo rename something in the pretence that it is something that it is obviously not.See bozone.
AbytznounThe financial chasm that a potential investor contemplates while reading the formal prospectus for a Ponzi scheme based on plantation trees for which there is no market.From ‘abutz’ - Old High German for ‘my uncle was not a Nazi’.
AffluentnounIndustrial wastewater that does not quite meet the criteria for aafluent.See aaafluent.
AffluentadjectiveThe financial status of someone who is alleged to have committed insider trading of stock market shares.Common usage.
Arpeedeeceedverb, transitiveTo legislate a cost-effective independent body out of existence when it recommends actions that are in opposition to the wishes of a Tasminster government.Derivation doubtful - possibly from the former Tasmanian Resource Planning and Development Commission.
Ass-scratchernounA person who sits on a committee for more than two years without achieving anything.From the activity it is probable that the person was engaged in for the two-year period.
Bartoutverb, intransitiveTo resign from a position of leadership or high office when the going gets tough.Derivation unknown.
BffluentnounIndustrial wastewater that does not quite meet the criteria for affluent.See affluent.
BigrednounThe elected leader of the church of Llenonism.  Derivation unknown.
BleaneynounA physician who eschews largesse and handouts from large pharmaceutical companies and acts instead in the interests of patients and society at large.From the name of Dr Alison Bleaney, 2011 Tasmanian of the Year.
Bobgoreverb, transitiveTo run a commercial enterprise into the ground by failing to recognise the probable impact of medium term market trends on the business.Derivation unknown.
BobgorneadjectiveDescription of a company that has been bobgored following liquidation of its assets.See bobgore.
Boxamachesinya- letaboxnounThe lowest form of intimidatory threat used by a lesterbarka that carries the message, ‘we know where you live and we can burn your house down any night we choose’. Ask anyone in Launceston.
BozonenounA colourless, odourless gas that surrounds the heads of stupid people and prevents sensible ideas from reaching their brains.The ‘Washington Post’ annual invent a new word competition.
BrinegreennounA person who tries to do too much with inadequate training.Derivation unknown.
Burchverb, transitiveTo recover a konsidined document from a trash bin so that it can be reboothed.Derivation unknown.
BurnyabarndownnounA higher form of intimidation threat used by a lesterbarka.Ask the Tasmanian Arson Squad.
CffluentnounIndustrial wastewater that does not quite meet the criteria for bffluent.See bffluent.
DffluentnounIndustrial wastewater that does not quite meet the criteria for cffluent.See cffluent.
DioxymoronnounA person who believes that there are more dioxins in red wine than in industrial effluent.Moron combined with dioxin.
Dougleverb, transitiveThe act of ridiculing an expert whose opinions are in opposition to government policy.Derivation unknown.
DouglernounA person who douglesSee dougle.
EcflightadjectiveAny process that produces aafluentFrom the acronym for Elemental Chlorine Free that is even freer of elemental chlorine - see poorie.
EdgercashunnounSomething for young people that is poorly funded under a Tasminster system of government.See flibflab.
EffluentnounAre you really so thick that we have to spell it out for you?See lala.
EpanounA body constituted under Act of Parliament that practises scharping.Acronym for ‘Evasive Patronising Administration’.
EPBC ActnounA poorly thought out Act of the Australian Parliament that protects everything in the environment except Homo Sapiens.See nudemperor.
ExtingshunnounThe effect produced by inhaling large quantities of sulfurous gases.See undertaker.
FlibflabnounA two party political system in which neither party represents the interests of the voters.Based on the names of the two dominant political parties in Tasmania.
Gayzeverb, transitiveTo look at community property and wish that it belonged to you personally.From ‘gaz’ - Indoeuropean for ‘a greedy person of small stature’, also a type of small venomous desert snake that moves sideways.
Gilmurgeverb, transitiveTo fail to publish any information that might put your paying advertisers in a poor light - the opposite of thorfinn.Derivation unknown.
GreybreastnounA high-flying bird that has been rendered flightless by not paying attention to the direction in which it was flying. See nudemperor.
GunnermentnounA government that acts solely in the interests of a single corporate entity and counter to the interests of the electorate.Where have you been for the past eight years?
HampshirenounAn uninhabited place surrounded by resources that is rejected for development by its owners for no rational reason.See bozone.
HilthcairnounSomething for older people that is poorly funded under a Tasminster system of government.See Bleaney.
Hornsieverb, transitiveTo attempt to influence the decision of a tribunal official.Derivation unknown.
IccnounSimilar to epa.See epa.
IganounA waste of time and effort, also any action lasting over two years that was doomed to failure from the outset.Acronym for Intergovernmental Grants for Ass-scratchers.
Indicator SpeciesnounAny asthma sufferers living in the Tamar Valley.See EPBC Act.
Konverb, transitiveTo issue a government document full of lies and half-truths.Derivation unknown.
Konsidineverb, transitiveTo shred a potentially embarrassing, or incriminating document.Derivation unknown.
Kordamentholverb, transitiveThe act of liquidating the assets of an insolvent company while retaining most of the proceeds for one’s self and nothing to small creditors.Possibly a brand of cigarette.
LalaadjectiveNaïve and sillyPossibly a corruption of ‘gaga’
LestabarkanounA person employed by a corporation to intimidate anyone who opposes its development proposals.Derivation unknown.
LestranglernounA person who is employed by a corporation at an enormous salary, is subsequently retrenched and then bags their former employer.Derivation unknown.
LinznounA person with high ethical standards and clarity of vision.Derivation unknown.
Llenonist palacenoun (colloquial)A substantial residential dwelling constructed from building materials that were not paid for by the original ownerColloquial - based on the popularly held belief that the leader of the Llenonite Church lives in such a dwelling.
LlenonitenounA adherent to the faith of LlenonismSee Llenonism.
LlenonismnounA religious doctrine that holds that all environmentalists are either students or unwashed people who have never held a job.Derivation unknown.
LongretchnounThe effect produced by inhaling minute quantities of sulfurous gases.
McMahonverb, transitive, or nounA person who leaves their personal interests aside for a long period of time to work selflessly in the interest of their local community, or a person who chooses to act in this way.From the name of Robert McMahon, 2012 Tasmanian of the Year.
MerotadjectiveDescriptive of a method of selecting future employees that does not rely on skills or experience that are relevant to the employment. A merot system is frequently part of a Tasminster system of government.From the acronym ‘Mates Employed Regardless of Talent’.
MisforestrynounA Ponzi scheme involving trees.See abytz.
MygranenounThe effect produced by inhaling small quantities of sulfurous gases.See hilthcair.
NudemperornounAn outcome which is blindingly obvious to anyone with an ounce of common sense, but is not obvious to people enveloped in bozone.From the fairy tale written by Hans Christian Anderson.
OcconernounAn ignorant loudmouth with a lust for power who neglects the interests of the people he represents.Derivation doubtful - possibly from ‘ocker’ - an uncouth Australian.
OwzonenounAn area of land that a poorie considers to be insignificant. See gayze.
PaulineadjectiveDescriptive of a type of cargo cult belief that a single large industry will provide unending wealth and growth in living standards for a community.Ironic adaptation of the conversion of Saul on the road to Damascus – adherents of Pauline beliefs have never experienced a change in their beliefs.
Pee-emtenverb, transitiveThe act of being pissed on from a great height.See epa.
Pee-emtfiveverb, transitiveThe act of being pissed on from a lesser height.See epa.
Pickensonverb, transitiveThe act of enforcing cabinet solidarity in a government operating under a Tasminster system Derivation unknown.
Poorieverb, transitive, or nounTo pretend that an industrial process will have no impact on surrounding communities. A person or company who poories - particularly while in receipt of large sums of money.Derivation doubtful - possibly from a description of people living in communities whose leaders have been pooried.
ProtectedadjectiveA specific forestry term for a forest coupe that can only be clear felled for peeler logs.See tasminster.
Reboothverb, transitiveTo reconstruct a document that has been konsidined.Derivation doubtful - possibly from rebirth.
RobbernnounA retired politician who subsequently accepts a highly paid position on the Board of Directors of a corporation that he or she was in a position to favour with government largess before resigning.See greybreast.
Scharpverb, intransitiveThe act of not making a decision when you have the duty and power and to do so.Derivation unknown.
ScharpernounA person who scharpsSee scharp.
SlatenounA hand-held electronic device for information creation and retrieval that will severely lessen the need for paper made from bleached euclaypt kraft pulp in coming years.See bobgore.
Sweekoverb, transitive, or nounTo write a supposedly independent report in return for payment that actually reaches the conclusion that the client wants to hear. A report of this type.Derivation doubtful - possibly a contraction of ‘sweet cop’.
TapinaidenounA public outcry from a group of community minded people against government mismanagement.From Tasmanians Against the Pulp Mill - a courageous group of people who battled against a Tasminster government for 8 years against seemingly insurmountable odds and changed their environment for the better.
TapinaidernounA person who participates in a tapinaide.See tapinaide.
TasminsteradjectiveA system of government which supposedly adheres to Westminster democratic principles but which in fact acts to line the pockets of politicians elected under such a system and favours companies and individuals who contribute campaign funds to the political party in government against the interests of the wider electorate. You poor bastard - just try living in Tasmania for a while!
Thorfinnverb, transitiveTo publish the truth without fear or favour - the opposite of gilmurge.From the name of a fearless and respected Viking leader.
Vandielaffverb, intransitive, nounTo laugh from frustration, rather than joy or happiness, in order to maintain one’s sanity under trying circumstances. The hollow quavering sound made by someone vandielaffing.Believed to be based on the type of laugh uttered by convicts sent to van Diemen’s Land in the early to mid nineteenth century.
WrighteousadjectiveA judicial official who maintains their independence and upholds a law in the face of coercive political pressureFrom the name of Christopher Wright, former Tasmanian supreme court judge.